Showing posts with label mediation services. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mediation services. Show all posts

Sunday, August 5, 2018

Benefits of Family Mediation Services


Mediate to Go: Benefits of family mediation services


Benefits of family mediation services

It is well established that family mediation services provide a more flexible, affordable and satisfying process for couples ending their relationship than an adversarial court battle (see amicable divorce). There are also various benefits for children when using family mediation, such as helping them cope. If you have decided to end your relationship with divorce or separation, then mediation is a great process to consider. If you still haven't decided whether you want to choose divorce or to stay together, read the blog about choosing divorce or family therapy.

Flexibility - family mediation services

Shared problem solving in mediation

Mediation is a flexible process “not limited by legal categories or rules, it can help reframe a contentious dispute as a mutual problem.”[1] Mediation, in its most basic form, helps to facilitate communication between parties to change competitive bargaining into problem solving focused negotiation that helps meet the needs of both parties involved.[2] See our blogs on negotiation and mediation vs arbitration to learn more.

Flexible agenda of mediation

The process is also flexible in terms of how the discussions take place, whereby parties have input in the agenda and how the process moves forward. For couples facing separation or divorce, a mediation process can offer a much more flexible way of dealing with the difficulties of ending a relationship. Instead of being stuck with rigid deadlines, a mediator can help you come up with solutions based on your's and their schedule.

Flexible timing of mediation

Divorce is considered a time of crisis for the family unit, so anything that can adapt to the family's time constraints is a good thing. Instead of having to wait for months or possibly years to have a case resolved in court, family mediation can take a matter of hours or days. 

Flexible style of mediation

In addition, family mediators have different styles that may better meet the needs of your particular family. For example, a family mediator might be trained in working with particular cultural or religious group or may speak your mother tongue. Such a mediator could provide a process that is more comfortable and appropriate for the parties based on their broader needs and diversity.

Flexible outcomes in mediation

Family mediation is also flexible in the outcome of the process. Of course, family mediation works within the framework of a country's constitution, laws and regulations. This means that a family mediation agreement must respect the laws of the country in order to protect vulnerable parties, etc. (note: be sure to request independent legal advice from a lawyer in your area/country, even if you chose to use mediation). Family mediation is unique in that the parties have more leeway to design their own outcomes of separation and divorce, but a lawyer will be better placed to help ensure that the agreement meets legal requirements. Instead of relying on the courts to decide your custody arrangements, family mediation allows for a couple to collaboratively decide how they will share custody. 

Affordability - family mediation services

Affordable for parties and the justice system

Mediation is also more affordable for parties and the administration of justice. Parties attending family mediation were increasingly more likely to settle their dispute, compared to those litigating.[3] This is a common benefit to mediation as a process of ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution).

This means that parties participating in family mediation and achieving resolution were no longer burdening the court system with their case. Some governments offer subsidized family mediation to help dissuade parties from a more adversarial approach, emphasizing, for example, the interests of all family members and the reduction of legal costs.[4] Even if parties take advantage of subsidies that provide for a mediator, such as in Quebec, this process might take approximately 6 hours or less, with a court process taking months or possibly years.[5] 

Affordability increases Access to Justice

Mediation has been argued to increase access to justice for parties who cannot afford legal counsel.[6] While mediation is not a replacement of the court process, nor the assistance of a lawyer, the process may allow for the facilitation of parties needs, and reduced need for a lawyer for the entirety of the process. Sometimes, parties use the services of a mediator, and then seek independent legal advice once they have a draft settlement agreement, thus, paying for fewer hours of legal services.

Satisfying - family mediation services

Emotionally and financially satisfying 

Mediation is more satisfying for parties than litigating. Couples dealing with divorce can come to mutually agreeable solutions in relation to all aspects of the divorce; including access and custody arrangements, division of property and assets and more. Part of this more satisfying process means that parties are able to avoid some of the emotional and financial costs of traditional legal processes – fighting in court.[7] See our blog called Don't let fights go bad and building an emotional air conditioner.

Satisfying to parties' needs and interests

In addition, parties’ needs and interests are more likely to be met. In terms of results, mediating custody disputes produces better outcomes for families than adversarial legal battles.[8] In these ways, mediation is a more satisfying process. See our blog on family fights and how to fight fair.

Better for children - family mediation services

A great deal of research discusses the benefits of family mediation for children. Conflict is negative for children, so anything that can reduce the animosity between parents is beneficial for kids. A court process only exacerbates aggressive conflict tactics (see our blog on conflict styles). In addition, through offering creative and flexible solutions for families, family mediation can help parties avoid negative and destructive conflict in the future, by helping them develop effective agreements and teaching skills in conflict resolution

Also, read our blog on How to find a good mediator.




[1] Robert A Baruch Bush and Joseph P Folger, The Promise of Mediation: The Transformative Approach to Conflict (San Francisco, California, Jossey Bass, 2005) at 71.

[2] Bush and Folger, supra note 1 at 72.

[3] Joan B Kelly and Robert E Emery, “Children’s Adjustment Following Divorce: Risk and Resilience Perspectives” (2003) 52 Family Relations at 376 citing Emery R (1994) Renegotiating family relationships: divorce, child custody, and mediation (New York: The Guilford Press, 1994).

[4] Justice Quebec. Family mediation - Negotiating a fair agreement, online: <http://www.justice.gouv.qc.ca/english/programmes/mediation/accueil-a.htm>.

[5] Id.

[6] Jessica Pearson (1994) Family mediation. In S Keilitz (ed), A report on current research findings - implications for courts and future research needs (pp 53-75). Washington, DC: State Justice Institute.

[7] Bush and Folger, supra note 1 at 72.


[8] Id.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Mediation Services: How to Find a Good Mediator

How to Find a Good Mediator

Introduction to finding a mediator

Finding a good mediator takes some time and research. Like choosing any professional to assist you with something in your life, you should ask the right questions to ensure you have found the right match. Mediation services can assist you in many ways, and finding a good mediator is crucial to effective mediation services.

The best mediators are those who have the knowledge and skills to effectively manage their own personal and professional conflicts, in addition to your issues. As mediators, we think that conflict in itself is not a bad thing. It only becomes 'bad' or negative if it is destructive (versus constructive conflict). The mediator is there to guide you through a process to resolve your issues.

Personal qualities of a good mediator

A mediator is not a good mediator if they are known as a good lawyer or because they simply say they are a good mediator. When you first speak to a mediator, look for these listed characteristics to increase the chances that the mediation services will work for you and the other party. Boulie 1996, cited in Bringing Peace into the Room: The Personal Qualities of the Mediator and their Impact in Mediation,  suggested that mediators who are effective in their role are:
  • empathetic
  • non-judgemental; 
  • patient; 
  • persuasive; 
  • optimistic
  • persistent;
  • trustworth;
  • intelligent;
  • creative;
  • flexible; and
  • that they have a good sense of humor and common sense.
In addition, these qualities are said to assist mediators become better in their roles, and may also be considered as important in choosing the right mediator (as cited in Bringing Peace into the Room: The Personal Qualities of the Mediator and their Impact in Mediation):
  • self-awareness;
  • presence;
  • authenticity;
  • congruence; and
  • integration.
This article also emphasized that these qualities not only come via intellectual ability or scholarship, but experience.

What is the take-away? If you get a good feeling about the mediator; if they are friendly, patient, kind, empathetic, these are qualities to help you in your decision  to find the right mediator and mediation services.

Professional qualities of a good mediator

Katheryn Munn came up with a helpful set of questions to ask a prospective mediator. Feel free to address each of these issues, which are inspired by her questions:
  1. Do you belong to any professional organizations for mediators? 
  2. What kind of training have you had in mediation? Many hours of mediation specific training, and ideally, a relevant degree (be it social work, psychology, or subject matter specific, related to the conflict). Feel free to ask which specific classes they took, as some programs might not be focused on conflict resolution.
  3. What kinds of mediation have you handled? Many hours of completed mediation sessions in your specific area is important. Feel free to ask for testimonials. If you need family mediation services, but they are a commercial mediator, they might not have sufficient relevant experience.
  4. How much will it cost? The mediation should cost a fair amount, and payment that works for you. Ask for a few quotes, and get back to the mediator before you commit. Also ask your local government or court office if the mediation services could be paid for or subsidized by another body or organization.
  5. How long will it take? Be sure the mediation will take a reasonable about of time. Again, shop around, and ask this question. If the mediator doesn't have time to see you within a month, you might find someone else that is available right away. Mediation should be more efficient than the court system, so don't be shy to ask around.


Some of the aforementioned questions might be answered within the profile. Ask us if you have more questions.


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