Family Fights & Fighting Fair: How to Peacefully Resolve Conflict
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- Don’t tell your partner what to do. Commands are not respectful.
- Don’t attack.
- Don’t roll your eyes or get sarcastic (Oh…okay well I’ll do the garbage every freakin day then…how’s that?”)
- Don’t bring up the last twenty times they did the same thing, or the time they insulted your mother and you’ll never forget it…it’s called ‘kitchen sinking’ to bring up past problems.
- Keep it to the present situation.
- Don’t tell all your friends about the issues in your marriage.
- Don’t bring things up when you’re about to sleep and it’s dark.
- Do find out when it’s a good time to discuss a problem.
- Do keep it brief. No long lectures.
- Do scale the problem first…”this is a 2 out of 10, so it’s not a biggie…” This helps shrink a problem before you even talk about it.
- Do take a time-out if you feel you’re going to explode (time outs are not about ditching the issue though…state where you will be and how long it will be before you will be ready to discuss it.
- Do address very small items in front of the kids so they can see you resolving it, but save the biggies for private talks.