Benefits of Family Mediation Services

Mediate to Go: Benefits of family mediation services

Benefits of family mediation services

It is well established that family mediation services provide a more flexible, affordable and satisfying process for couples ending their relationship than an adversarial court battle (see amicable divorce). There are also various benefits for children when using family mediation, such as helping them cope. If you have decided to end your relationship with divorce or separation, then mediation is a great process to consider. If you still haven't decided whether you want to choose divorce or to stay together, read the blog about choosing divorce or family therapy.

Flexibility - family mediation services

Shared problem solving in mediation

Mediation is a flexible process “not limited by legal categories or rules, it can help reframe a contentious dispute as a mutual problem.”[1] Mediation, in its most basic form, helps to facilitate communication between parties to change competitive bargaining into problem solving focused negotiation that helps meet the needs of both parties involved.[2] See our blogs on negotiation and mediation vs arbitration to learn more.

Flexible agenda of mediation

The process is also flexible in terms of how the discussions take place, whereby parties have input in the agenda and how the process moves forward. For couples facing separation or divorce, a mediation process can offer a much more flexible way of dealing with the difficulties of ending a relationship. Instead of being stuck with rigid deadlines, a mediator can help you come up with solutions based on your's and their schedule.

Flexible timing of mediation

Divorce is considered a time of crisis for the family unit, so anything that can adapt to the family's time constraints is a good thing. Instead of having to wait for months or possibly years to have a case resolved in court, family mediation can take a matter of hours or days. 

Flexible style of mediation

In addition, family mediators have different styles that may better meet the needs of your particular family. For example, a family mediator might be trained in working with particular cultural or religious group or may speak your mother tongue. Such a mediator could provide a process that is more comfortable and appropriate for the parties based on their broader needs and diversity.

Flexible outcomes in mediation

Family mediation is also flexible in the outcome of the process. Of course, family mediation works within the framework of a country's constitution, laws and regulations. This means that a family mediation agreement must respect the laws of the country in order to protect vulnerable parties, etc. (note: be sure to request independent legal advice from a lawyer in your area/country, even if you chose to use mediation). Family mediation is unique in that the parties have more leeway to design their own outcomes of separation and divorce, but a lawyer will be better placed to help ensure that the agreement meets legal requirements. Instead of relying on the courts to decide your custody arrangements, family mediation allows for a couple to collaboratively decide how they will share custody. 

Affordability - family mediation services

Affordable for parties and the justice system

Mediation is also more affordable for parties and the administration of justice. Parties attending family mediation were increasingly more likely to settle their dispute, compared to those litigating.[3] This is a common benefit to mediation as a process of ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution).

This means that parties participating in family mediation and achieving resolution were no longer burdening the court system with their case. Some governments offer subsidized family mediation to help dissuade parties from a more adversarial approach, emphasizing, for example, the interests of all family members and the reduction of legal costs.[4] Even if parties take advantage of subsidies that provide for a mediator, such as in Quebec, this process might take approximately 6 hours or less, with a court process taking months or possibly years.[5] 

Affordability increases Access to Justice

Mediation has been argued to increase access to justice for parties who cannot afford legal counsel.[6] While mediation is not a replacement of the court process, nor the assistance of a lawyer, the process may allow for the facilitation of parties needs, and reduced need for a lawyer for the entirety of the process. Sometimes, parties use the services of a mediator, and then seek independent legal advice once they have a draft settlement agreement, thus, paying for fewer hours of legal services.

Satisfying - family mediation services

Emotionally and financially satisfying 

Mediation is more satisfying for parties than litigating. Couples dealing with divorce can come to mutually agreeable solutions in relation to all aspects of the divorce; including access and custody arrangements, division of property and assets and more. Part of this more satisfying process means that parties are able to avoid some of the emotional and financial costs of traditional legal processes – fighting in court.[7] See our blog called Don't let fights go bad and building an emotional air conditioner.

Satisfying to parties' needs and interests

In addition, parties’ needs and interests are more likely to be met. In terms of results, mediating custody disputes produces better outcomes for families than adversarial legal battles.[8] In these ways, mediation is a more satisfying process. See our blog on family fights and how to fight fair.

Better for children - family mediation services

A great deal of research discusses the benefits of family mediation for children. Conflict is negative for children, so anything that can reduce the animosity between parents is beneficial for kids. A court process only exacerbates aggressive conflict tactics (see our blog on conflict styles). In addition, through offering creative and flexible solutions for families, family mediation can help parties avoid negative and destructive conflict in the future, by helping them develop effective agreements and teaching skills in conflict resolution. 

Also, read our blog on How to find a good mediator.

---

[1] Robert A Baruch Bush and Joseph P Folger, The Promise of Mediation: The Transformative Approach to Conflict (San Francisco, California, Jossey Bass, 2005) at 71.

[2] Bush and Folger, supra note 1 at 72.

[3] Joan B Kelly and Robert E Emery, “Children’s Adjustment Following Divorce: Risk and Resilience Perspectives” (2003) 52 Family Relations at 376 citing Emery R (1994) Renegotiating family relationships: divorce, child custody, and mediation (New York: The Guilford Press, 1994).

[4] Justice Quebec. Family mediation - Negotiating a fair agreement, online: <http://www.justice.gouv.qc.ca/english/programmes/mediation/accueil-a.htm>.

[5] Id.

[6] Jessica Pearson (1994) Family mediation. In S Keilitz (ed), A report on current research findings - implications for courts and future research needs (pp 53-75). Washington, DC: State Justice Institute.

[7] Bush and Folger, supra note 1 at 72.

[8] Id.

Top 10 Songs about Conflict - 2015

Top 10 Songs about Conflict - 2015

This blog is part of our series of top conflict songs. See the Top 10 Conflict Songs of 2014.

1. Hello - Adele

A song about reconciliation and when fights go bad.

A past conflict has resulted in a separation, but during this song she is trying to resolve this conflict. The fact that she has taken the first step in reconciling the relationship is admirable, however there are ulterior motives behind this reconnection, which could create extra conflict and avoidance down the line. When rebuilding a relationship, honesty is always the best policy. You can’t build an honest relationship out of lies (also see tips on coping with divorce).

2. Elastic Heart - Sia

A song about destructive relationships and moving on.

This song deals with a relationship that did not work, even though they may have tried mediation and other means to repair the relationship. However, no methods worked, and she feels destroyed by the experience. The truth is, you can try to repair a relationship or situation all you want, even partake in mediation, but sometimes it simply does not work. However, it is a method that often has positive results (benefits of mediation), so it is still worth partaking in the practice.

3. Dear Future Husband - Meghan Trainor

This song is about being open to resolve conflict. 

In order to avoid any sort of conflict in her relationships resulting in separation or avoidance, she has created a set of conditions and rules, which she lays out in the song to any future lover. In theory, this may seem like an intelligent idea, however strict rules often lead to rebellion. Open discussion is always a wise option in terms of mediation, given that intense rules could lead to restricting yourself from opportunities (also see conflict resolution styles).

4. Love Yourself (Justin Bieber)

This song is about dealing with rejection and moving on.

This song involves a self-obsessed ex-partner that’s causing conflict simply for the attention of the singer. He is trying to avoid any sort of confrontation with this person, however in this song, he addresses it by completely dismissing and distancing himself from said conflict. This song reflects a realistic and aggregable option towards conflict, do not involve yourself.

5. Bloodstream - Ed Sheeran

This song is about internal conflict and empathy.

This song involves a man who has created conflict, resulting in people’s active avoidance. He has done this because of conflicts within himself, and this song is his realization of his mistake, too late for reconciliation. In cases such as these, you would need to keep in mind its never too late to attempt reconciliation, through mediation. If you were one of those whom avoided, it’s about being empathetic and compromising while your friend is going through a tough phase.

6. Suffer In Peace - Tyler Farr

This song is about avoidance.

This is about a man who has compromised to make somebody else happy, but he has simultaneously compromised himself by doing this. Avoidance is a dream for him, he is unhappy and looking back, wishes that he had done something different.  In this case, mediation or taking a step back could be a more realistic option. The point of compromise is to reach a midpoint that makes both parties happy, otherwise what is the point. Collaboration might be even better, where both parties are said to find a win-win solution.

7. Don’t Wanna Fight (Alabama Shakes)

This song is about finding resolution, taking into account all of your needs and interests.

The inspiration behind this song was about the bands earlier struggles, finding a balance between their full-time jobs and their band practices. This is a very real issue in the workplace, finding a balance between hobbies, having a good time and work. If there are issues, you shouldn’t be put out by approaching your employer/manager to discuss your feeling and options (also known as a form of negotiation). You also need to compromise within yourself, enjoying yourself but at the same time being realistic financially.

8. Ghost Town - Adam Lambert

This song is about change and trust.

This song is about the changes happening within society and especially Hollywood. He is trying to fight against the change but feels alone in the struggle. This conflict is not between two people, but between a person and society. Society will change inevitably. The options are either to avoid the situation altogether, remain conflicted or accept the change. Sometimes, trusting that the situation will change is the most difficult. Each of these options have their own advantages and disadvantages. Learn more about conflict escalation and resolution.

9. Secret Love Song (Little Mix)

This song is about honesty and compromise.

The song is about a relationship that is being kept a secret, due to it being looked down upon by society. This song has strong LGBTQIA links, as mentioned by Little Mix themselves. This song is a duet also starring Jason Derulo (in some versions), and as the song gets to the bridge, they are having an argument about whether to be honest or keep the relationship a secret (see our blog, Should I stay or should I go?). In a situation such as this, a compromise seems to have already been reached, with one of the parties unhappy with the arrangement. This song seems to be a crossroads between being open, and the situation turning to one of avoidance instead of romance. Also see our blog on cheating in relationships - advice on adultery, which also deals with secrets.

10. B**** Better Have My Money - Rhianna

This song is about confidence in conflict.

This may seem like an odd choice for some, but this song is the perfect example of somebody who does not compromise, apologize or avoid conflict. This woman believes she is correct and strong and refuses to be told different. This type of personality is not ideal for mediators; however, we have to deal with all personalities and you will run into people of this temperament. The trick is to make the outspoken party feel in control.

Ashton Bult, Mediate to Go Blogger

Ashton Bult is our media blogger, focusing on mediation and conflict resolution and its effects on modern pop culture and vice versa. Leaning towards youth engagement with mediation, he has studied a wide variety of courses at the Auckland University of Technology and the International Travel College. When he isn't on his computer, he'll be performing on stage. 

Celebrities and Mediation – What Is The Link?

Ola! Hope you guys are still having a read of my blogs, and perhaps this one caught your attention. Throughout history, there have been disagreements, conflicts and a need for mediation. As history goes on, it has simply been thrust into greater prominence. Singers, actors and public figures are constantly thrust into the limelight and scrutinised.

Whether you are talking about legendary feuds, such as that between Betty Davis and Joan Crawford, or feuds in more modern pop culture, such as the conflicts between Taylor Swift and Katy Perry, there seems to be much need for mediation in Hollywood.

The question I pose to you is this; are celebrities and their disagreements really as epic as the media makes them out to be? Are they heavily exaggerated, and modern media simply does it for the money? Or perhaps it is a mix between the two, with both parties at fault (see conflict escalation)?

Below I will write about a few celebrities I believe have caused a lot of conflict, either between each other, the media or even everyday viewers and consumers (see levels of conflict). I will give you a brief overview of the ‘issue’ and some insight on both possible successful conflict resolution techniques for their situations, as well as bringing back to the question raised above. I ask you to read this with an open mind.

Betty Davis + Joan Crawford

For all you classic Hollywood lovers, this particular feud is notorious. In fact, Ryan Murphy has recently released a season of his new anthology series ‘Feud’, which focuses on this particular feud. This feud was between two actresses, and apparently lasted both of their lifetimes.

Although it is an extremely long story, it started when Betty Davis was only beginning to come into prominence. One of her new movies was near to release, but was overshadowed by Joan Crawford’s recent divorce. As time went on, this intensified, especially as Betty Davis began to become more successful than Crawford. This feud came to a head in the movie ‘Whatever Happened To Baby Jane’, where they hurt each other in a show of destructive conflict, perhaps on purpose and argued constantly.

I believe mediation could have definitely been a successful technique in this situation. Judging on what we know via the media, it seems as if this feud came from jealousy of one another and their talent. However, the truth was that they were both quite talented. I believe a discussion about their issues face-to-face; perhaps with a third party involved would have been a good start. In terms of the issues on set, I believe compromise could have been the best option. Offering an increase in pay for a better attitude as an incentive, or a decrease for hindering the process would have done the trick, or at the least influenced the parties in their decision to try to resolve the conflict.

Do I think this feud was exaggerated and blown out of proportion? I believe so. I don’t believe they got along, but most articles that I have researched regarding this feud are filled with ‘they could’ or ‘it is assumed’. A lot of the feud was also based on third hand accounts, which could have been exaggerated or taken out of context. It could have also been a more fun rivalry between the two, or genuine conflict escalation.

Britney Spears and Conflict

Although Britney Spears could cover many different types of conflict (she could be the topic of an article within itself!), I am going to focus on her conflicts with the media itself, and the media industry she works in.

Although she was a member of the Mickey Mouse club, she truly came into prominence in 1998, with her first hit single “…Baby One More Time”. Throughout her career, she has been known for her up-tempo numbers, and her dancing skills. However, she has always been heavily scrutinized by the media, whether regarding her relationships, sometimes provocative manner and singing ability.

This conflict with the media came to a head in 2007, when she has a mental breakdown, resulting in her losing custody of her children, shaving her head and being caught fleeing the scene of a hit-and-run. As a result, the media came down even harder on her, to the point where she attacked them physically, most notably with an umbrella (video below).

Britney’s Conflict with the Paparazzi

Britney Spears had a rocky relationship with the paparazzi, and when it reaches a head in which physical conflict seems like the only answer, there is most defiantly a problem. Although many celebrities may not admit it, the paparazzi are vital to them in order to keep them relevant and interesting, considering the amount of famous singers, actors and public figures nowadays. At the same time, paparazzi need celebrities for their pay check, as well as to keep themselves relevant, edgy and interesting within their industry. An almost co-dependent relationship (see also unhealthy relationships).

Although it is never right for a conflict to become physical in any circumstance, we can empathize with Britney’s feelings (not actions) in the situation. I could tell you about conflict resolution and mediation techniques in this situation that are certainly relevant if this situation were on a smaller scale. An apology on both sides and discussions with a neutral third party regarding how they could have a comfortable working relationship would be very useful in this situation. And perhaps if, in your workplace or life, there is a similar problem on a smaller scale, this would be a great option. However, for THIS situation, it is not realistic. There is no one person that represents all the media in the world, so conflict resoution becomes more practicable.

And so we return to my starting question, whether this rocky relationship is as serious as it is made out to be, or if it is exaggerated. In this situation, I believe it was serious. Britney Spears was going through a mental breakdown at the time, and she felt that physical conflict would be a successful technique to create space between the paparazzi and her. This is not a smart or responsible technique, but she was on the edge and perhaps not in the right frame of mind. Besides, there was photo evidence!!!

Tom Cruise; when Conflict Resolution can’t work.

I know. The majority of people hear this name and smack their heads against the wall. This particular conflict is based around a variety of conflicts, both within the media and the public.

The story is simple. In a nutshell, Tom Cruise identifies as a Scientologist. I personally do not judge people based on their religions, I believe you can be whoever you want to be. However, his religion caused backlash in the public eye, as well as within the press. At the same time, this brought Scientology into the limelight, causing an increase in conversions.

To be honest, religion is close to people and may seem part of people’s identities. When mediating a situation involving religion, you might always be walking on eggshells, hense, the need to understand people’s human needs an ensure that the mediation environment is respectful. Cruise’s situation is another case whereby mediation techniques aren’t realistic. For example, perhaps the conflict could have been averted if people observed privacy around religious issues; however that defeats the purpose of paparazzi. I guess the advice to give for a workplace conflict involving religion is simply setting down rules with both parties that your personal life shouldn’t affect professionalism within the workplace. At the same time, encouraging respect and understanding between everyone in the process so that they are valued for their diversity.

Was this issue over-exaggerated, resulting in an overreaction from the public? I personally believe the answer is no. The reason for this opinion is because Tom Cruise was merely a catalyst that thrust Scientology into the limelight, a controversial religion to say the least! He was criticized mainly because of his high profile status, and the negative effects his association could have in terms of sign-ups.

Judy Garland and Intra-personal Conflict

The story of Judy Garland is a sad one, and the conflict I am focusing on in this section is the conflict within her, and how that was perceived within the media.

I don’t know why the stories about old Hollywood stars seem to be lengthier, but Judy Garland is another lady with a long history, so I will briefly skim the details. Miss Garland has a tough childhood, and from a young age she was thrust into the limelight. She was very successful, however over time she began to deteriorate, resulting in issues such as not turning up to set. Eventually, stress and depression led to her early death.

In terms of conflict resolution, multiple attempts were made to help her. She saw a therapist often, sometimes twice a day, and she had taken multiple trips to rehabilitation centres to attempt to wean her off her vices. I believe compromises were made, however she could not comply. The only option that did not take place was a leave of absence from acting or a more permanent stay in a rehabilitation centre, which I believe was most likely the family’s next move. Conflict resolution is only possible when parties are healthy in a wholeistic sense. Taking leave is common to return to health, which may in turn, help in resolving issues internally and with others.

I believe that the media was putting her in the wrong light. They were portraying her as a diva, rather than a celebrity with some serious problems. This led to misconceptions by the public of her being spoilt. This was not so much an exaggeration as an assumption without reliable sources or backup for their claims. In the end, it seems that her deeper needs were not being recognized by the media, whether their recognition would help, that is another story.

Miley Cyrus and Conflict Resolution

I thought to end on a bit on a more positive note; I would finish on Miley Cyrus, a young lady who is always the victim of controversy, with the main source of conflict being with the public. I will discuss her behaviour and some tips to address inappropriate actions, but in a workplace context.

As the daughter of a famous singer (Billy-Ray Cyrus), Miley was exposed to the public from a young age. As a teen, she was recruited for Disney Channel’s ‘Hannah Montana’. Through this role, she became a role model for many. Once she was released from her contract, she changed her look and attitude significantly. Whether she was smoking weed, swinging naked on a wrecking ball or twerking on Robin Thicke, she was stirring strong emotions (like AND dislike) throughout pop culture (watch video below).

Although I personally believe she was not at all in the wrong, I will go through some possible mediation techniques you could use within your workplace to address this behaviour, as it would be inappropriate in that setting. As an employer, you would have to be firm. Set down ground rules (or boundaries) as soon as you set up your business (or once you read this), so if this happens, you can refer back to these rules. Compromise in this situation would give those in a lesser position power over you, and although every member of a team relies on each other, the chain of command should always be maintained. This discussion should be calm, and I believe it would be appropriate to have a third, neutral party. Also see our blogs on how to fix conflict (or a relationship).

I believe this situation was blown out of proportion by both the media and consumers. Parents for example, complained about their children being tainted by her actions, and that her concerts were inappropriate. However, this information is readily available through magazines and the internet, so if they were worried about it being inappropriate, perhaps they should not have brought their children tickets in the first place. Miley Cyrus was trying out a new look and personality, as most teens her age do, and yet she was held to a different standard than others.

Thank you for reading. If you have any comments, opinions or advice, I would love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashton Bult, Mediate to Go Blogger

Ashton Bult is our media blogger, focusing on mediation and conflict resolution and its effects on modern pop culture and vice versa. Leaning towards youth engagement with mediation, he has studied a wide variety of courses at the Auckland University of Technology and the International Travel College. When he isn't on his computer, he'll be performing on stage. 

The Tipping Point of Mediation, Conflict Coaching and Resolution

Reflection of The Tipping Point by a Mediator
- How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference - 

The Tipping Point, By Malcolm Gladwell

Blog by Wayne Marriott

“The tipping point is that magic moment when an idea, trend, or social behaviour crosses a threshold, tips, and spreads like wildfire. Just as a single sick person can start an epidemic of the flu, so too can a small but precisely targeted push cause a fashion trend, the popularity of a new product, or a drop in the crime rate. This widely acclaimed bestseller, in which Malcolm Gladwell explores and brilliantly illuminates the tipping point phenomenon, is already changing the way people throughout the world think about selling products and disseminating ideas.”

Having read the book some years hence, I sought out the audio version of this valuable gem. This following information is my review of the book for your enjoyment. I hope it whets your appetite sufficiently to seek your own copy and enjoy Gladwell’s writing as much as I have.

You can find the iTunes version of the book here.

So, why should conflict management practitioners take on Gladwell’s glad-tidings?

I’m a conflict resolution service provider. My unique skill and ability is for sale. Regrettably the craft of practitioners like me is undervalued by a market sector that believe when they get into conflict, the dispute belongs to the other party and seldom accept much personal responsibility in the cause nor the resolution of their dispute. “I’m not in dispute. I’m right and they are wrong”. I find most of my clientele have become so immersed in their dispute they can no longer see a way through. In their exhaustion, they simply transfer responsibility of resolution to a lawyer or worse still, rollover allowing the other party to exert more power than should normally be afforded to them.  All of this can lead to destructive conflict escalation.

I’ve been searching for an edge toward success in my conflict management practice. Something that I could use as a guide in the market place frequented by fickle and grumpy consumers who don’t yet know what they need, nor want. How can I help people overcome this conflict blindness? What marketing ideas will create a change in the way consumers deal with dispute? I see this book as a tool to reflect and find a solution to improve my conflict resolution practice.

Biography of an idea – 4 principles

The Tipping Point described by Gladwell is the biography of an idea. For the communication of an idea (the message) to create change: the messenger must be a connector; the message must be in context and the message needs to stick, that is, personal, memorable, and practical. Simplistic, the change must be the easiest option.

As conflict resolution practitioners, we can harness Gladwell’s vision to help guide a personal business approach to transform our practice and strengthen our industry with strategies designed to build capability across our client sector, communities, organization, etc.

Important ideas that provoke change demonstrate 4 principles:

1.    Associated with contagious behaviour

2.   Little change = big effect

3.   Significant change will occur in one dramatic moment

4.   Principle 4 -  making sense of 1 and 2 above in these four parts:

                                              i.     Demonstrates geometric progression like that of a viral epidemic

                                            ii.     The unexpected must be expected – where radical change is more than a possibility

                                          iii.     There are three agents of change.

                                          iv.     Word of mouth epidemics become extraordinary news.

Agents of change

The three agents of change are essential elements of ideas that provoke social change are:

1.    The law of the few – key people who demonstrate: exceptional skills; energy; sociable nature and knowledge. Gladwell calls them:

a.    Connectors

b.    Mavens

c.    Salesmen (although I prefer to describe these folk as persuaders)

2.   The stickiness factor – ideas that make an impact (change behaviour) and stay top of mind (popular across the culture)

3.   The power of context – where the tipping point is reached owing to tinkering with even the smallest detail.

The law of the few – who are they and what do they offer?

The success of any social epidemic is heavily dependent on people with a particular set of skills. Change will occur more readily when these three specialist come together. Gladwell makes clear that these few do not exist in every team, community or organization. With this in mind we must remember that teams, communities and organizations must ensure these exceptional skills are present. For sole practitioners who beat a solitary drum and attempt to develop the entire skill set, an important lesson is to collaborate with key people to ensure the tipping point is reached and change assured.

Gladwell defines Connector; Mavens and Persuaders as follows:

a.    Connectors AKA people specialists.

These folk have great contacts. They prove, it’s not what you know but who you know. They give the rest of us access to opportunities and worlds that we ordinarily don’t belong. Effective people specialists rank highly in a six degrees of separation where not all the degrees are equal. Gladwell describes the circle of friends is actually a pyramid where key individuals simply know lots of people of all different ilk and move between cultures with ease. He says that weak ties can net more worth than strong ties. This means that our acquaintances are stronger allies than our friends and relatives. (Gladwell discusses his six degrees theory  and Kevin Bacon here http://gladwell.com/six-degrees-of-lois-weisberg/ )

b.    Mavens AKA information specialists.

These folk are accumulators of knowledge. We rely on mavens as information brokers. They are the experts in their field and we pay them tremendous respect as our go-to people on specifics topics. Gladwell says that mavens’ are socially motivated and seldom demonstrate strength in persuasion.

c.    Persuaders AKA communication specialists.

Tuned in to cultural micro-rhythms, persuaders demonstrate mastery of a specialized human trait where listening and intervention is as synchronous as a conductor of an orchestra. With perfect timing, they listen, interrupt and become interactional as if in tune with most everyone they meet.

When Mavens and Connectors amongst us get together.

Importantly, mavens demonstrate success when they collaborate with connectors who are innovators. Connector-innovators are trend setters. They often feel they are isolated – even outcasts. They are also pioneers who see a bigger picture. They are passionate and readily become engaged in various forms of activism.

When mavens and connector-innovators get together a more coherent picture comes clear. The fresh broadened view ensures a more complete analysis is not influenced by those with an insular and biased outlook.

Maybe this is why conflict management innovators (or any professional group or social enterprise) are more often engaged in change processes across their sector. They create change by incremental steps that might otherwise not seem connected. The resulting tipping point comes with radical and rapid change to the surprise of those around them whilst the pioneers go unrecognized.

If this is you, (pat on back) then you will already be broadening the scope of your craft to provide consumers with flexibility, strengthening the action of your profession and changing culture. You will be making change the easy choice, as Gladwell suggests, redefining innovation as mainstream. See the Mediate2Go blog on enhancing customer service in conflict resolution.

Afterword by Malcolm Gladwell.

“A book is a living and breathing document that grows richer with each new reading”. Malcolm Gladwell.

An added strength of the audio version is Gladwell’s personal afterword where he shares fresh insight into his vision. He says that:

         i.         Difficult and challenging change is best tackled by a close knit group.

       ii.         An increasing significance of the social media culture means we must rely more on the power of word-of –mouth of our mavens, connectors and persuaders.

He also says that since writing The Tipping Point he can add fresh insight.

1.    Understanding the rise of isolation.

2.   Beware the rise of immunity.

3.   Finding the mavens.

1.    Understanding the rise of isolation.

Individuals these days seem to follow an internal cultural script where they are infected by the example of how others experience and react to conflict and dispute. The resulting contagious behaviour in the population requires a counter response toward the tipping point to conflict competence.  Only then will we overcome our underlying anxieties that fuel unhealthy hysterical social behaviour.

2.    Beware the rise of immunity.

The power of word-of-mouth becomes more valuable as the message epidemic is prolonged. This is counter-intuitive to normal economics where scarcity drives an increase in value and wealth.  Gladwell opines that increasing network size is self-limiting as we become immune to the share volume of messages directed at us about more things we have little interest in. The key to reducing immunity is to reach people face-to-face.  This relies on us valuing those in our teams, communities and organizations we respect  admire and trust. The cure for immunity is engaging with our mavens, connectors and persuaders.

3.    Finding the mavens.

Gladwell calls it, “creating the maven trap”.

People look up to mavens, connectors and persuaders (The law of the few) because they naturally value respect and standing amongst friends and colleagues. They are less impressed with status and wealth. In particular the mavens we value are able to break through the rising tide of isolation and immunity because:

•    Mavens prefer direct communication, face-to-face.
•    Word-of-mouth messages will be carefully constructed to attract the maven group in each sector, community and organization.

Gladwell suggests that finding and collaborating with a widened maven group will hasten the process toward the tipping point of change.

What ideas and great works are you considering? Can you identify the mavens are around you? When will you formalize a strategy to bring together your connectors, mavens and persuaders?

How to use Gladwell’s book to improve conflict resolution for both clients and mediators.

My mission from now is to consider my colleagues in terms of Gladwell’s classification.

1.    Write a list of colleagues you admire and respect and consider if they are mavens, connectors or persuaders. (Many of these folk will have strengths in each)

2.   Make a plan on making contact with each individual and set about securing a face to face meeting with them.

3.   Use the meeting to gather information about their values. Talk with them about what you are working on and introduce the Gladwell readings.

4.   Ask questions such as:

1.    What values do mediators share? (This is your maven trap – mavens will wax lyrical on their view of this.)

2.   What stifles referrals and business development? (see best business ideas for mediators)

3.   Without undermining the competitive nature of our practice, how can we work together to grow the size of the referrals pie?

4.   Would you be willing to join a think tank / working party to discuss 1, 2 and 3 above?

5.   Then plan and implement your think tank meeting with your mavens, connectors and persuaders. Have them consider:

6.   What would it be like to work together?

7.   Which environments are in most need of transformation?

8.   What challenges will we face?

9.   How will we overcome the challenges?

10. How will we know we are making a difference?

11.What commitments do we need to make together to take another step? (Who, what, how, when, why)

Whilst our mediation colleagues are for in intents and purposes competitors for a fairly limited pie of referrals, by embracing Gladwell’s concepts we can work together to grow the size of the pie. By working together our client base can encompass a broadened foundation of communities, sectors and organizations that will benefit from embracing their own mavens, connectors and persuaders. They simply need our guidance to show them.

Connect with Wayne Marriott, Mediator

For more information, please read Malcolm Gladwell’s book, The Tipping Point.