Conflict Resolution Family - 5 Tips

Conflict Resolution Family - 5 Tips

Conflict Resolution Family - 5 Tips to Supportive Communication

Introduction to Resolving Conflict in Families

Conflict resolution has a basis in many disciplines, including psychology, mediation, communication, human relations and even law. In this blog, we will look at conflict resolution in the family from a communications perspective. Communication may both trigger conflict in the family and be a means of resolving fights that go bad. Be sure to check out our other blog on conflict resolution in the family, entitled Family Fights & Fighting Fair: How to Peacefully Resolve Conflict.

In J. Rothwell’s text on Communicating in Small Groups and Teams, he looks at how to shape groups within the work context. We will look at the family as a group, and how you can help influence your family to become more supportive, which will help reduce the likelihood of family members being triggered into conflict, and help increase the chances of resolving conflict with and within your family. No one wants to be in a home with escalating conflict, so read more to learn some theory and techniques to help you resolve conflict in your family.

Conflict Communication in Families

The above text referred to Jack Gibb, who found patterns of communication that can end up leading to conflict. Specifically, he identified patterns of communication that instigate or decrease defensiveness. Defensiveness has been defined as “a reaction to a perceived attack on our self-concept and self-esteem”. See more information about defensiveness on our blog entitled Ending Blame and Defensiveness in Relationships.  Defensiveness goes to the root of how we feel about ourselves (see our blog on How to Be Self Confident) and how we relate to others. The more defensiveness we feel (both in ourselves and from others), the more conflict we will experience.

The Goal is to have a Conflict Resolution Family

Instead of allowing defensiveness to take precedence in our family relationships, we need to foster supportive communication patterns, which invite cooperation. 

1. Do Describe Positively; Do Not Evaluate Negatively 

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. 

Helen Keller

Some cultures focus on blaming individual’s rather than taking group-responsibility – such is the case here in North America. This culture of blame might even be worse with what has been described as Online shaming: the return of mob morality.  On the contrary, some aboriginal cultures, for example, believe that transgressions by an individual must be addressed with the entire community taking some responsibility (see our blog on Restorative Justice Principles).

In the family setting, it’s easier to blame someone else when we make a mistake than it is to take responsibility. It might be easier to blame someone else as we might be reacting in anger or we may feel embarrassment for what we did and may simply not be ready to take responsibility. The danger with this is that it can create a more hostile and unsupportive environment that will in turn lead to more blame and negativity. This behaviour will only backfire when you later become the recipient of it. The research mentioned in the above text focuses more on workplace environments, but it could be applied equally to families – the more we negatively evaluate others, the more defensiveness that results.

Alternatively, describe family members positively, including with praise, recognition and flattery. If you need to address behaviour that did not work for you, or made you uncomfortable, follow these ideas:

• Use “I feel” messages, or at the least, messages from your perspective and not others
• Describe behaviours in a neutral and specific manner, avoiding generalizations
• Avoid disguised insults (ie. I feel like you are a bad husband or I feel like you hate me)

2. Do be a Problem Solver with others; Do not be Controlling

“He who agrees against his will, is of the same opinion still” 

Samuel Butler

When we tell people what to do, it is likely to lead to the 4 R’s: resistance, resentment, retaliation and revenge. The 4 R’s may have an undercurrent of what is called Psychological Reactance, being “the more someone tries to control us by telling us what to do, the more we are inclined to resist such efforts, or even do the opposite”.

To prevent a defensive family environment, we need to focus on cooperatively solving problems rather than controlling others. A great way of doing this is by following the steps in our blog entitled Constructive Confrontation.

3. Do have Empathy, Do not be Indifferent

Empathy begins with understanding life from another person's perspective. Nobody has an objective experience of reality. It's all through our own individual prisms. 

Sterling K. Brown

We are indifferent with family when we simply don’t care what they have to say. We might be looking at them when the speak, but we might not be reflecting or thinking about what they are actually saying. When we do not acknowledge someone else’s communication, we are said to have an impervious response (see Sieberg and Larson, 1971 cited in the above text).

Instead of being indifferent, we must show empathy to our family members, which means showing true care and concern for them. Rothwell’s text emphasizes the importance of trying to see the other people’s perspectives and to act accordingly. This is likely to create a more supportive environment, where conflict is less likely to occur, and more conflict resolution is possible.

4. Do treat others as Equals; Do not act Superior 

Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. 

Ellen DeGeneres

Hopefully, these types of attitudes are not happening in your family, or you may be in a destructive relationship. However, one way that it might be more possible to see this superiority problem, is in how parents may treat kids as being inexperienced or unknowledgeable due to their age. Acting superior to your children might lead to resentment, and may decrease communication with them. Even if there are many things you may still need to teach them, communicate with them showing trust in their competence. Who knows, they might even surprise you!

5. Do use Provisionalism; Do not use Absolutes

Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with the people the same happiness. 

Khalil Gibran

Have you ever been with someone who tells you something that they believe to be true, but you have more information to invalidate their version of the truth? When we speak with complete certainty, we might instigate defensiveness in others. Another example is speaking with a relative who completely dismisses other’s perspectives, treating them as stupid. We know that someone is speaking in absolutes when they use the terms always, impossible, never or forever.

Alternatively, we might want to consider (see, we are using provisionalism in this statement) qualifying statements with possibly, perhaps, maybe, etc. Through provisionalism, we can side-step struggles to win in an argument. When we give freedom for other people to have a valid and valuable perspective, we can lessen the chances of defensiveness, and create a more supportive environment for communicating effectively, and resolving conflict.

Conflict Resolution Family - 5 Tips to Supportive Communication 

Conclusion of Resolving Conflict in families 

The big lesson here: avoid doing stuff that will frustrate and anger people! Defensiveness will lead to more defensiveness, and will escalate conflict.

We hope that this blog provides you with some ideas to prevent conflict in your family so that it does not happen in the first place. Family fights can have a big impact on you and the other members of your family. If you already experience high conflict in your family, try to shift patterns from defensive to supportive. Be sure to see our other blogs to address conflict in your family.

 

Conflict Resolution Family - 5 Tips to Supportive Communication 

Celebrities and Mediation – What Is The Link?

Ola! Hope you guys are still having a read of my blogs, and perhaps this one caught your attention. Throughout history, there have been disagreements, conflicts and a need for mediation. As history goes on, it has simply been thrust into greater prominence. Singers, actors and public figures are constantly thrust into the limelight and scrutinised.

Whether you are talking about legendary feuds, such as that between Betty Davis and Joan Crawford, or feuds in more modern pop culture, such as the conflicts between Taylor Swift and Katy Perry, there seems to be much need for mediation in Hollywood.

The question I pose to you is this; are celebrities and their disagreements really as epic as the media makes them out to be? Are they heavily exaggerated, and modern media simply does it for the money? Or perhaps it is a mix between the two, with both parties at fault (see conflict escalation)?

Below I will write about a few celebrities I believe have caused a lot of conflict, either between each other, the media or even everyday viewers and consumers (see levels of conflict). I will give you a brief overview of the ‘issue’ and some insight on both possible successful conflict resolution techniques for their situations, as well as bringing back to the question raised above. I ask you to read this with an open mind.

Betty Davis + Joan Crawford

For all you classic Hollywood lovers, this particular feud is notorious. In fact, Ryan Murphy has recently released a season of his new anthology series ‘Feud’, which focuses on this particular feud. This feud was between two actresses, and apparently lasted both of their lifetimes.

Although it is an extremely long story, it started when Betty Davis was only beginning to come into prominence. One of her new movies was near to release, but was overshadowed by Joan Crawford’s recent divorce. As time went on, this intensified, especially as Betty Davis began to become more successful than Crawford. This feud came to a head in the movie ‘Whatever Happened To Baby Jane’, where they hurt each other in a show of destructive conflict, perhaps on purpose and argued constantly.

I believe mediation could have definitely been a successful technique in this situation. Judging on what we know via the media, it seems as if this feud came from jealousy of one another and their talent. However, the truth was that they were both quite talented. I believe a discussion about their issues face-to-face; perhaps with a third party involved would have been a good start. In terms of the issues on set, I believe compromise could have been the best option. Offering an increase in pay for a better attitude as an incentive, or a decrease for hindering the process would have done the trick, or at the least influenced the parties in their decision to try to resolve the conflict.

Do I think this feud was exaggerated and blown out of proportion? I believe so. I don’t believe they got along, but most articles that I have researched regarding this feud are filled with ‘they could’ or ‘it is assumed’. A lot of the feud was also based on third hand accounts, which could have been exaggerated or taken out of context. It could have also been a more fun rivalry between the two, or genuine conflict escalation.

Britney Spears and Conflict

Although Britney Spears could cover many different types of conflict (she could be the topic of an article within itself!), I am going to focus on her conflicts with the media itself, and the media industry she works in.

Although she was a member of the Mickey Mouse club, she truly came into prominence in 1998, with her first hit single “…Baby One More Time”. Throughout her career, she has been known for her up-tempo numbers, and her dancing skills. However, she has always been heavily scrutinized by the media, whether regarding her relationships, sometimes provocative manner and singing ability.

This conflict with the media came to a head in 2007, when she has a mental breakdown, resulting in her losing custody of her children, shaving her head and being caught fleeing the scene of a hit-and-run. As a result, the media came down even harder on her, to the point where she attacked them physically, most notably with an umbrella (video below).

Britney’s Conflict with the Paparazzi

Britney Spears had a rocky relationship with the paparazzi, and when it reaches a head in which physical conflict seems like the only answer, there is most defiantly a problem. Although many celebrities may not admit it, the paparazzi are vital to them in order to keep them relevant and interesting, considering the amount of famous singers, actors and public figures nowadays. At the same time, paparazzi need celebrities for their pay check, as well as to keep themselves relevant, edgy and interesting within their industry. An almost co-dependent relationship (see also unhealthy relationships).

Although it is never right for a conflict to become physical in any circumstance, we can empathize with Britney’s feelings (not actions) in the situation. I could tell you about conflict resolution and mediation techniques in this situation that are certainly relevant if this situation were on a smaller scale. An apology on both sides and discussions with a neutral third party regarding how they could have a comfortable working relationship would be very useful in this situation. And perhaps if, in your workplace or life, there is a similar problem on a smaller scale, this would be a great option. However, for THIS situation, it is not realistic. There is no one person that represents all the media in the world, so conflict resoution becomes more practicable.

And so we return to my starting question, whether this rocky relationship is as serious as it is made out to be, or if it is exaggerated. In this situation, I believe it was serious. Britney Spears was going through a mental breakdown at the time, and she felt that physical conflict would be a successful technique to create space between the paparazzi and her. This is not a smart or responsible technique, but she was on the edge and perhaps not in the right frame of mind. Besides, there was photo evidence!!!

Tom Cruise; when Conflict Resolution can’t work.

I know. The majority of people hear this name and smack their heads against the wall. This particular conflict is based around a variety of conflicts, both within the media and the public.

The story is simple. In a nutshell, Tom Cruise identifies as a Scientologist. I personally do not judge people based on their religions, I believe you can be whoever you want to be. However, his religion caused backlash in the public eye, as well as within the press. At the same time, this brought Scientology into the limelight, causing an increase in conversions.

To be honest, religion is close to people and may seem part of people’s identities. When mediating a situation involving religion, you might always be walking on eggshells, hense, the need to understand people’s human needs an ensure that the mediation environment is respectful. Cruise’s situation is another case whereby mediation techniques aren’t realistic. For example, perhaps the conflict could have been averted if people observed privacy around religious issues; however that defeats the purpose of paparazzi. I guess the advice to give for a workplace conflict involving religion is simply setting down rules with both parties that your personal life shouldn’t affect professionalism within the workplace. At the same time, encouraging respect and understanding between everyone in the process so that they are valued for their diversity.

Was this issue over-exaggerated, resulting in an overreaction from the public? I personally believe the answer is no. The reason for this opinion is because Tom Cruise was merely a catalyst that thrust Scientology into the limelight, a controversial religion to say the least! He was criticized mainly because of his high profile status, and the negative effects his association could have in terms of sign-ups.

Judy Garland and Intra-personal Conflict

The story of Judy Garland is a sad one, and the conflict I am focusing on in this section is the conflict within her, and how that was perceived within the media.

I don’t know why the stories about old Hollywood stars seem to be lengthier, but Judy Garland is another lady with a long history, so I will briefly skim the details. Miss Garland has a tough childhood, and from a young age she was thrust into the limelight. She was very successful, however over time she began to deteriorate, resulting in issues such as not turning up to set. Eventually, stress and depression led to her early death.

In terms of conflict resolution, multiple attempts were made to help her. She saw a therapist often, sometimes twice a day, and she had taken multiple trips to rehabilitation centres to attempt to wean her off her vices. I believe compromises were made, however she could not comply. The only option that did not take place was a leave of absence from acting or a more permanent stay in a rehabilitation centre, which I believe was most likely the family’s next move. Conflict resolution is only possible when parties are healthy in a wholeistic sense. Taking leave is common to return to health, which may in turn, help in resolving issues internally and with others.

I believe that the media was putting her in the wrong light. They were portraying her as a diva, rather than a celebrity with some serious problems. This led to misconceptions by the public of her being spoilt. This was not so much an exaggeration as an assumption without reliable sources or backup for their claims. In the end, it seems that her deeper needs were not being recognized by the media, whether their recognition would help, that is another story.

Miley Cyrus and Conflict Resolution

I thought to end on a bit on a more positive note; I would finish on Miley Cyrus, a young lady who is always the victim of controversy, with the main source of conflict being with the public. I will discuss her behaviour and some tips to address inappropriate actions, but in a workplace context.

As the daughter of a famous singer (Billy-Ray Cyrus), Miley was exposed to the public from a young age. As a teen, she was recruited for Disney Channel’s ‘Hannah Montana’. Through this role, she became a role model for many. Once she was released from her contract, she changed her look and attitude significantly. Whether she was smoking weed, swinging naked on a wrecking ball or twerking on Robin Thicke, she was stirring strong emotions (like AND dislike) throughout pop culture (watch video below).

Although I personally believe she was not at all in the wrong, I will go through some possible mediation techniques you could use within your workplace to address this behaviour, as it would be inappropriate in that setting. As an employer, you would have to be firm. Set down ground rules (or boundaries) as soon as you set up your business (or once you read this), so if this happens, you can refer back to these rules. Compromise in this situation would give those in a lesser position power over you, and although every member of a team relies on each other, the chain of command should always be maintained. This discussion should be calm, and I believe it would be appropriate to have a third, neutral party. Also see our blogs on how to fix conflict (or a relationship).

I believe this situation was blown out of proportion by both the media and consumers. Parents for example, complained about their children being tainted by her actions, and that her concerts were inappropriate. However, this information is readily available through magazines and the internet, so if they were worried about it being inappropriate, perhaps they should not have brought their children tickets in the first place. Miley Cyrus was trying out a new look and personality, as most teens her age do, and yet she was held to a different standard than others.

Thank you for reading. If you have any comments, opinions or advice, I would love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashton Bult, Mediate to Go Blogger

Ashton Bult is our media blogger, focusing on mediation and conflict resolution and its effects on modern pop culture and vice versa. Leaning towards youth engagement with mediation, he has studied a wide variety of courses at the Auckland University of Technology and the International Travel College. When he isn't on his computer, he'll be performing on stage. 

Christmas Cheer or Mediation Madness: Your Survival Guide to December

Christmas is just around the corner, and guess what, most of us survived (ish). I would like to start off by saying congratulations on that, an achievement in itself!

However many people may claim that Christmas is always “full of cheer”, so to speak, in my opinion they are extremely confused about the true meaning of Christmas. Workplace mediation is in my opinion, more important in December than in any other month of the year, for a variety of reasons. Even if people don’t celebrate Christmas, December  is the time of many celebrations, which may be joyous, and unfortunately at times, conflictual.

My first reason is simple; December is one of the most stressful times of year. Whether you have a family of your own, a partner or simply love to pull out the stops for Christmas, you have a huge amount of work to do. And that’s not even counting your ACTUAL workplace. The fact that the business shuts down, even if just for a few days, can be a blessed holiday for some, but a nightmare for others. Work deadlines, meetings and other events are tighter, which can create even more stress and conflict within the workplace.

Below I have put some stressful December situations that could create conflict within the workplace, and how to de-escalate these situations, through the use of conflict resolution (self-resolution, conflict coaching and mediation).

The Horrors of Secret Santa

Secret Santa is an inspired idea. People buying gifts for one another, making everybody feel like part of the team. It also gets people into the Christmas spirit. However, you will also receive these sorts of issues:

“I don’t like my person, I want another!” “I have no idea who my person is because I don’t care about my co-workers…..so yeah….” “Secret Santa is stupid, and I don’t want to do it!” “I don’t have the time.”

I’m sure you get the point. You are always going to get these situations with something like ‘Secret Santa’, and this can cause tension within the office. In some cases, this can escalate to arguments and very uncomfortable situations that we would all rather avoid.

You are never going to make everybody happy in any situation, and the best thing you can do in this situation is compromise, a textbook conflict management style. My first piece of advice would be to set a budget for the gifts, so that people aren’t spending ridiculous amounts of money on their gifts. Something else that could help is on the paper you hand out, alongside the name; write down their department, or even a picture of the person. These sorts of things can help a lot more than you might expect. Lastly, set parameters on the types of gifts so that people do not give or receive gifts inappropriate in the workplace. See also our blog on conflict resolution for managers.

As for those who have complaints about Secret Santa or the process, simply explain things from your perspective, the reasons you wanted to do it, and what you hope to get from the process. If you have an answer ready, in all honesty they can still decline without looking like a Scrooge. Ask for how they want to be involved in order to get their support and buy-in, or to simply include them in a way that makes them more comfortable.

Leave/Holidays and Conflict

This one is a toughie. Whether it’s about completing those horrific holiday deadlines or every employee attempting to get work leave around December/January, there’s going to be conflict, whether you want it or not. Everybody wants family time, everybody wants to go on a trip, and you can’t just shut down the office to make allowances, sorry to say.

This one comes down to tough love, good communication and planning ahead. If you don’t tell them, you should. It could be a case of first in first served, and if you have already used up all your leave, pushing your luck will not work during the Christmas period. Although compromise and meeting in the middle is usually the best option, in these situations you need to set down the rules firmly, so any issues or complaints are not on your head, but theirs for not keeping in mind those boundaries you set down.

The Dreaded Staff Party

This particular horror causes conflict mostly between those in higher-tier positions. This is because it is due to the more technical aspects associated with a staff party. Variables such as budget, alcohol, venues and events can cause high stress levels, and disagreements. There is also a constant worry that the co-workers might be unhappy with the event, and this can cause long-term resentment of their job positions. I will deal with these issues one at a time. 

VENUE to avoid conflict during workplace parties

It is a tough call. Should it be done off-site, or should we book out a venue? Booking a venue is often the biggest source of conflict in terms of the staff party, as it would be the biggest blow to the budget. First of all, you should sit down with the accountant and discuss the budget you have. It isn’t about the venue, it’s about what you do with it. Decorations and food can go a long way. Every business is different, but if you ask those obvious questions, there will be no need for conflict in the first place. The party is one way to show appreciation and recognition for hard work, so a better venue shows employees that you care and value their contribution.

ALCOHOL and avoiding conflict during workplace parties

Alcohol nearly always leads to conflict. Whether it is someone acting like a fool, a thoughtless comment or office gossip, something always happens. I work in events, and my staff party secret is serving wine and beer ONLY, and keep an eye on both the employees, managers and the rate of consumption. This will save you both money out of your budget, and possible conflict management needed further down the track. Make sure that someone in HR or a manager is there to offer sober support should anything escalate or get out of hand. Also be considerate that some people might be uncomfortable with the consumption of alcohol for religious reasons, so be sure to help them feel included. 

EVENTS and avoiding conflict during workplace parties 

Events have winners and losers. Some people are graceful, some people are not. It does not mean that you are a bad person; personally I believe that being ambitious and having a competitive personality can be a real asset within the workplace. However, this can often lead to unintentionally hurting people, and thus begins a deadly cycle that leads to a conflicted workplace. Firstly, the party itself is a big event, so to be honest, you do not need to go overboard in terms of events.

Staff parties are a great idea and bring people together, but keep in mind preparation is everything, and have some alternate options in place, because you can never be too careful when it comes to conflict resolution and workplace mediation.

The Christmas Blues, dealing with family and personal conflict during the holidays

Although by reading this blog you may think I am the Grinch in disguise, I truly am a big fan of Christmas. Whether it is the decorations, the carolling or the presents, I have a good time. However, what people often fail to remember is that not everybody is a fan of Christmas. This could be due to a lot of things, whether it is religious, family and personal conflict, well being, situational or they are simply not a fan of the holidays.

This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation from their co-workers and peers, or vice versa. Although this conflict might not be shown in open and explicit conflict, it is still very important to consider, if not more so.

Don’t block them out and exclude anyone. This can cause deep conflict between both parties or even within the so-called “Scrooge” themselves. There could be bad memories associated with Christmas. They might be all alone this year. They simply might not celebrate the holiday. This doesn’t mean they are bad people, or that you should exclude them from everything in December.

Think of how you would want to be treated if you were in their shoes. Include them, but keep in mind their boundaries. You should always respect your fellow co-workers, and just because it’s December, does not mean that should change.

Anyway, if you have actually read through all of this, congratulations!!! I hope I have given you some useful tips for dealing with Christmas conflict. Leave some comments below (I’d love to hear what you think), and of course, have a very, VERY merry Christmas!!!

Ashton, Mediate2go Communications Blogger

Ashton Bult is a graduate of tourism studies, with a strong interest in media outreach. He spends his free time winning water polo games and reading several books a week. Ashton also acts, dances and choreographs in a Drama club in Auckland. He is currently working on a cruise ship.

Building Great Relationships on your Board of Directors

Building Great Relationships on your Board of Directors – What you can do to have effective relationship and manage conflict when serving on a Board of Directors (BOG)

Background of Conflict Resolution and Board of Directors/Boards of Governors

Are you a director or executive member of a non-profit organization or corporation? Do you have a conflict on your Board of Directors? 

As a facilitator and conflict resolution expert, I focus my work on volunteer Boards of Directors. I wrote this blog for anyone interested or involved in serving on an agency board.  Conflict is an important part of growing a strong board, listening to different perspectives from the community and helping an organization have a positive impact on the community (read conflict is good for business). Planning ahead to understand what conflict could look like, having an agreed upon process for resolution and learning how to use the process is a valuable skill to develop as a board member.  When you master conflict resolution and integrate it into your work, you improve the chances that your agency will achieve its overall goals.

Introduction to Conflict Resolution and Board of Directors

Serving on a Board of Directors for a not-for-profit agency is an excellent opportunity make a contribution to the community.  You can shape the future of the organization by making a contribution of your time, expertise and knowledge.  The ability to identify and resolve conflict is a necessary skill. There are different types of disputes you can experience on a Board.  Some can be resolved quickly and others will require a process for resolution.  This post will outline four things you can do to establish a framework to make conflict resolution work for your Board of Directors.

1.     Establish a Dispute Resolution Policy

     The Board Dispute Resolution Policy should outline the process for identifying, addressing and resolving a dispute that involves board members or their single employee (e.g., CEO, Executive Director).  The policy should state that dispute resolution is an important tool for the Board to use when there are significant issues that appear to be difficult to resolve.

The document should include the following elements:

a.     A definition of conflict

b.     The process for the resolution of the conflict

c.     The phase in the resolution process (e.g. negotiation, mediation)

d.     Who should be involved from the board to assist with the process

e.     If outside assistance is required, who will be involved

f.      A method to record lessons learned

g.     A date for the annual review of the policy

h.    The dispute management process. 

Building a policy should be based on the literature and well-known tools for effective negotiation and dispute resolution. See the Meditate2Go blog on creating an organizational dispute resolution program and policy.

2.     Board Orientation and Continuing Education

     Training and education should support the policy.  The annual Board Meeting schedule should incorporate training. Everyone should have an opportunity refine and develop their skills to identify conflict, apply the conflict resolution tools and obtain feedback. The learning process can utilize a wide variety of methods including case studies, role plays or guest speakers.  Actively engaging the board members in the learning process is the key to success.

3.     Apply the Tools for Emerging Challenges and Opportunities

     Every organization faces a wide variety of challenges and opportunities.  The challenges can consist of conflicts between board members, with staff or with other agencies in the community [1]. The opportunities will often present themselves as a chance to expand existing services, create new services or build new facilitates.  Negotiation and conflict resolution tools can be helpful to build partnerships and find solutions to challenges or opportunities. Applying the tools as a Board is a positive way to strengthen relationships in the community and find new and innovative ways to work with other organizations.  See the Meditate2Go blog on Interest-Based Approach to help your Board work with other agencies in the community.

4.     Engage the Local Mediation Community

     Every community has a rich resource of people trained and willing to assign an organization with dispute resolution training, mediation, and effective conflict coaching.  Learn about the mediators in your community.  A strategic partnership local mediators can help the organization develop healthy relationships in the community, provide a framework for exploring new ideas among groups and assist the Board in moving forward with challenges and opportunities.

The Board of Directors is a critical element in the long-term success of community agency.  Building excellent relationships between board members will involve having a framework for identifying and resolution disputes.  Establishing a Board policy, engaging in ongoing training, using the dispute resolution tools and partnering with mediation experts in the community can make your time on Board a constructive and positive experience.  Good luck as you play a critical role in the community as a member of the Board of Directors.

Contact the Mediate2go Blogger:

Jerry Mings is a facilitator and mediator with enormous experience in the health and social sector. His work is focused on Boards and Senior Teams as they work in the areas of organizational priorities, dispute resolution strategies and effective community partnership opportunities. With over 18 years of practice, his work has involved national health  charities,  government funded organizations and private sector service firms. In addition, Jerry designs public participation systems and asynchronous facilitation methods using the Internet.

[1] Marion peters Angelica, “Resolving Board Conflicts” (1999) The Grantsmanship Center.