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Showing posts from December, 2014

Mediation Services versus Arbitration: What’s the Difference?

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Mediation Services versus Arbitration: What’s the Difference?Intro - Forms of Alternative Dispute ResolutionMediation and Arbitration are two forms of alternative dispute resolution (ADR).  This means that they are ways of settling disputes without having to resort to the court system and traditional litigation.  Remember that the starting point to both mediation and arbitration is consensual.  That is, both parties have decided to use mediation or arbitration as a “first resort” rather than simply going to court.  Some jurisdictions in Canada and the United States have mandatory mediation for certain types of disputes. 

Often, a mediation or arbitration process may arise because the parties have a contractual relationship that specifies that any disputes will be solved by such methods.  Other times, the parties voluntarily agree to do so because it appears that a mutually agreeable result might be more readily attainable, or because a more timely decision is needed than would be avail…

Should I stay or should I go? When to Choose Therapy and When to Divorce

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How do I know if I should be in couples therapy, or on the road to separation, divorce and mediation
Do you wonder if the grass is greener when the waters get rough in your marriage?  It’s normal in any relationship to have those “I don’t like you right now” thoughts (hopefully rephrased if spoken aloud). Conflict is inevitable, and very healthy if it is resolved. But when those thoughts turn into more serious questioning about whether you should stay or go, it’s time to do some serious thinking, because having, and voicing, those thoughts can further threaten a fragile partnership.  

It may be time to stop second-guessing your commitment, and bravely face the question: Should I stay or should I go?  

In part, the answer differs depending on what stage you’re in. Early stage relationships:
If, in the first few months to a year of being with someone, your ‘gut’ doesn’t feel right or there is a lot of unhealthy conflict, there is good reason to simply go your separate ways. It probably won’…

Feeling uncomfortable? Set a boundary!

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Feeling uncomfortable? Set a boundary!
“Good fences make good neighbors”-Robert Frost
What is a boundary? Similar to boundaries separating pieces of property, regions and countries, boundaries exist in our interpersonal relationships. Boundaries are emotional and/or physical spaces between you and someone else, or between you and several people at once. Generally speaking, they are learned during childhood through modeling in relationships, and later in life through friendships.


Human relations research has found that tensions, which may be expressed with boundaries, exist in all of our relationships. Dialectical theory “says relational development occurs in conjunction with various tensions that exist in all relationships, particularly connectedness versus autonomy, predictability versus novelty, and openness versus closedness.[i]”This means that all relationships are dynamic, and require a constant balance, whatever that looks like depending on the people involved, the context and com…

Self-leadership in Conflict - Leadership Styles

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Self-Leadership in Conflict - Leadership Styles Be the change that you want to see in the world. ― Mahatma Gandhi

Essential advice on how to manage and reduce harmful conflict at home and at work. 
Here is what we think about self-leadership in conflict. Also known as taking self-responsibility in conflict, self-leadership is about taking leadership across situations to manage your own reaction to issues and conflict, and also help others manage their issues. While it might not be considered a style on its own, it might have a significant impact on your situation. As mediators and conflict coaches, we recommend learning about self-leadership because we believe everyone is responsible for their own behaviour in situations. We always have a choice in how we react, and this can have a major impact on the dynamics and relationships around us.

Self-leadership in conflict assumes the following characteristics:
We are responsible for what we bring to a situation (our thoughts, which impact how …