Bullying in the Workplace – Bad Bosses and Hostile Work Environments

Bullying in the Workplace – Bad Bosses and Hostile Work Environments

Bullying in the Workplace – Bad Bosses and Hostile Work Environments

Maybe you experienced bullying as a child in school. Bullying in schools was, and is still common place in some institutions. If so, those are memories you would likely prefer to leave behind. This might not be possible if you face a hostile work environment due to bullying at work. Are you being bullied at work? Many people are dealing with bullying at work on a daily basis, and don’t know where to turn for help. Don’t be ashamed, as it is not your fault. You are not responsible for someone else’s behaviour. Maybe you have even asked yourself whether you should stay or whether you should go. Is it time to move on and work with another organization? Don’t leave the organization yet, necessarily.

What is workplace bullying? What is workplace harassment? 

How does one define bullying in the workplace?

Bullying is an aggressive act, meant to destabilize and reduce the power of another, leaving the victim feeling isolated, rejected and hurt. Unfortunately for some people, they might experience bullying later on in adult life in the context of working relationships. Workplace bullying “usually involves repeated incidents or a pattern of behaviour that is intended to intimidate, offend, degrade or humiliate a particular person or group of people.[1]”

Although the title of the article is, “I have a bad boss”, workplace harassment takes place between all types of relationships in the workplace, between customers and employees, employees against other employees, and even employees against managers at times.

What is workplace harassment? What constitutes bullying at work?

Workplace harassment is basically the same as workplace bullying, except harassment is the legal term for offensive and/or hurtful behaviour that is unwanted and often repetitive in nature. This term might be important depending on where you live, and where you work, as the definition might be used to determine whether the behaviour itself if considered harassment. If it is, then you might be able to take recourse during those legislative schemes or administrative bodies. If not, you might need to try other approaches to dealing with the harassment.

Is bullying at work illegal?

In some jurisdictions, workplace harassment is indeed illegal, and is explicitly covered in workplace-related legislation. Ask your government ministry of employment and/or workplace compensation board to learn more about the legalities around appropriate workplace behaviour and workplace harassment. You might also have civil recourses through the courts, and/or recourse if the behaviour is viewed as a form of criminal harassment. In that sense, might consider reaching out to your local police station, say the harassment is serious. Read about the difference between reporting harassment in the workplace and to the police. 

Definition of Workplace Bullying in the UK

According to the UK Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service (ACAS):
Bullying is "offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behaviour, an abuse or misuse of power through means that undermine, humiliate, denigrate or injure the recipient."

Definition of Workplace Bullying in Australia

According to Safe Work Australia, a statutory agency, workplace bullying is defined as
"repeated and unreasonable behaviour directed toward a worker or group of workers that creates a risk to health and safety".

The Government of Western Australia Chamber of Commerce said:
"Bullying in the workplace may be described as repeated inappropriate behaviour that can occur at work and/or in the course of employment. It may be direct or indirect, verbal or physical, or some form of negative interaction between one or more persons against another or others. Bullying behaviour can be regarded as undermining an individual's right to dignity at work."

The Australian Human Rights Commission said one definition is:
“the repeated less favourable treatment of a person by another or others in the workplace, which may be considered unreasonable and inappropriate workplace practice. It includes behaviour that intimidates, offends, degrades or humiliates a worker”.

Definition of Workplace Bullying in New Zealand

"Bullying may be seen as something that someone repeatedly does or says to gain power and dominance over another, including any action or implied action, such as threats, intended to cause fear and distress.” Evans v Gen-i Limited unreported, D King, 29 August 2005, AA 333/05. 

Definition of Workplace Bullying in the United States

The Washington State Department of Labor & Industries:

"Workplace bullying refers to repeated, unreasonable actions of individuals (or a group) directed towards an employee (or a group of employees), which are intended to intimidate, degrade, humiliate, or undermine; or which create a risk to the health or safety of the employee(s)."

Definition of Workplace Harassment in Canada

Treasury Board Secretariat - Federal Public Service workers

Under the Policy on Harassment Prevention and Resolution, harassment is defined as: "improper conduct by an individual, that is directed at and offensive to another individual in the workplace, including at any event or any location related to work, and that the individual knew or ought reasonably to have known would cause offence or harm. 

It comprises objectionable act(s), comment(s) or display(s) that demean, belittle, or cause personal humiliation or embarrassment, and any act of intimidation or threat. It also includes harassment within the meaning of the Canadian Human Rights Act (i.e. based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, age, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, family status, disability and pardoned conviction)."

Quebec Commission des Normes du Travail - Quebec workers

"Psychological harassment at work is vexatious behaviour in the form of repeated conduct, verbal comments, actions or gestures: that are hostile or unwanted, that affect the employee’s dignity or psychological or physical integrity, that make the work environment harmful."

Ontario

The Occupational Health and Safety Act defines workplace harassment as "engaging in a course of vexatious comment or conduct against a worker in a workplace that is known or ought reasonably to be known to be unwelcome."

This definition of workplace harassment is broad enough to include harassment prohibited under the Ontario Human Rights Code, as well as "psychological harassment" or "personal harassment."

Some of the types of harassment that workers could experience in the workplace include sexual harassment, teasing, intimidating or offensive jokes or innuendos, display or circulation of offensive pictures or materials, unwelcome, offensive, or intimidating phone calls, or bullying. Leering, unwelcome gifts or attention, offensive gestures, or spreading rumours could also be considered harassment.

Types of workplace harassment? Examples of workplace harassment. 

What does workplace bullying and harassment look like?

Bullying can take many forms, from subtle moves to isolate someone to overt acts of aggression. Some examples include spreading hurtful rumours and gossip about others that isn’t true, intimidating someone, undermining someone’s work on purpose, threatening or abusing someone, removing someone’s responsibilities without reason, changing work guidelines constantly, making offensive jokes that are obvious, yelling, belittling someone, tampering with someone’s personal items or equipment, intruding on someone’s privacy, or making someone feel excluded or unwanted.[2] Even email bullying at work might take place, which might include any threatening behaviour over email. All of these behaviours demean someone, and over time, might erode their self-esteem and trust in themselves and trust in others. It also creates an unhealthy work environment, whereby the victim and other team members might start to fear confrontation or simply coming into work at all.

How does bullying start?

Bullying might start for varying reasons. Maybe someone has anger management problems and fails to address their anger effectively, taking it out on others. Maybe someone was bullied at another time in their life, and they are re-living the pattern – maybe they do not realize the true impact of their behaviour. Maybe the person has a personality type that makes it more difficult to empathize with others. But remember, it doesn’t matter that much why it started, it just matters that you are addressing it, so that it stops. These reasons do not excuse someone’s destructive behaviour. You still need to set boundaries.

Impact and consequences of workplace bullying

Workplace bullying hurts people, the team and the organization. The human impacts include frustration, helplessness, decreased confidence, anxiety, family tension, low morale and more.[3]

Workplace bullying also hurts your organization or company. Impacts include, increased turnover, costs to workplace health programs, increased risk to workplace incidents, decreased productivity, compromised corporate brand and decreased customer service quality.[4]

How to deal with a bully at work?

If you believe you are a victim of harassment or workplace bullying, also known as office bullying, take some of these steps, and also read out blog about Bullying and Harassment with some tips;

1. Make it clear to the person that their behaviour is unwanted. Have a witness, such as a labour/union representative or human resources officer with you.
2. Document everything, including the date, time and behaviour, the impact on you, the witnesses present and the outcome. If there is written proof, keep this as well.
3. Report each incident to the appropriate person. Seek out the services of an ombudsman, special contact in the organization or human resources.[5] They will be able to provide advice on how to report workplace bullying.
4. Don’t convince yourself that this behaviour is acceptable or somehow warranted by something that you have done. Victims may feel vulnerable and as if they have no option but to remain silent.
5. Take these steps before you decide to quit your job. Although there may be a power imbalance between the victim and the bully, one person or even a group of persons is not necessarily representative of the whole organization.

Read our blog about what an employer can do to address harassment effectively. If you are a witness to workplace harassment, be sure to reach out for support, and follow the above recommendations as well (including documentation and reporting). Thank you for being a self-leader, and helping to contribute to positive change in your organization. Instead of allowing the conflict to escalate negatively, you are resolving the conflict.

Top 7 Tips for Mediators Addressing Workplace Harassment

If you are a mediator, how do you deal with workplace harassment? 

1. Are the clients fully capable and interested in mediating the case? If one of the clients might be emotionally and psychologically struggling, it might be inappropriate to invite them to participate in mediation unless they have approval from their doctor or attending professional;
2. Consider starting your time with the clients as a consultant to discuss their options, and then with conflict coaching so they are empowered to express their concerns when the time for mediation is appropriate. This is likely the best time to have the parties learn about the harassment policy and process, so that their expectations are managed. The truth is, the other person might not be separated (fired), so they might be asked to resolve the conflict with the help of a mediator. Of course, mediation is voluntary, but parties might aim for a collaborative solution, especially if one of the parties says sorry and genuinely will make an effort to improve their behaviour;
3. Before the mediation, ensure that the parties are aware of their rights and obligations. Give them this website to learn more about harassment and boundaries in the workplace. Also, ask the parties if they would like a support person or lawyer present in the sessions, and offer the same to the other party as well;
4. They might not be interested in working face-to-face with the other party, so if they are healthy and very interested in pursuing mediation, offer some alternative approaches, such as shuttle mediation (where the parties are in separate rooms and the mediator goes between each to manage the discussions and negotiation), or invite the parties to sit in the same room, but have them facing other directions;
5. Many parts of the mediation might be similar, whereby the mediator is there to guide discussions in a safe environment with appropriate communication norms, ensuring that both parties are heard and that they are able to find a solution that works for both of them;
6. A big part of the mediation might be future-focused, helping the parties establish new norms for working together. Work with them to come up with some broad norms for their relationship, and then talk through some examples and how they would be applied.
7. Discuss ways in which parties might ask for help or talk to the other person, if there is a ‘relapse’ in behaviour.

Keywords:
 

Types of bullying, bullying and mental health, the bully at work, workplacebullying, types of workplace harassment, intimidation at work, retaliation in the workplace, against bullying, verbal abuse in the workplace.

About the Author - Bullying in the Workplace – Bad Bosses and Hostile Work Environments

Rhema - Legal Dispute Blogger in collaboration with Mediate2go

Rhema Kang is a litigation lawyer. She graduated with an Honours Bachelor of Arts from the University of Toronto in International Relations, and Juris Doctor from the University of Ottawa. She first became excited about mediation while working for the Honourable George W. Adams, a prominent Canadian mediator who handles legal disputes worth up to several hundred million dollars. Rhema was the researcher behind the book, Mediating Justice: Legal Dispute Negotiations, and won second prize in the FMC Negotiation Competition. Rhema enjoys dark chocolate with sea salt and finds it awkward to write about herself in the third person.

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[1] Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety

[2] Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety

[3] Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety

[4] Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety

[5] Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety

Introduction to Real Estate Disputes

Introduction to Real Estate Disputes

Tip: Before you sign a real estate contract, check to see if it has a Mediation Clause.

Real Estate touches most of our lives; buying your first home, dreaming of that 2nd home away from the the city, or downsizing after your children have started having their own kids. Dreams of opening that bakery after retirement and finding the perfect location on Main Street, only to discover the city use permit is no longer valid due to expired city permits.

Sometimes, what may have appeared as the perfect transaction, turns into a nightmare between buyers and sellers, landlord and tenants, or parties of interest such as you and the Home Owners Association. Disputes do occur in Real Estate, which can be costly, emotional, stressful, and most importantly, time consuming. Here are some examples.

Examples real estate conflicts:

1. The buyers purchased their Bay Area home. Within days of purchasing, a plumbing back-up causes damage. The problem was rooted in the sewer system, and the cost to repair included new sewer lines to be constructed from the street to the house. Unresolved for several months, it continued to back-up. The buyers went to an Attorney. 
2. The buyers alleged Non Disclosure - an accusation which the Sellers denied. The legal clock began to tick for all concerned. 
3. The homeowner purchased property with a Homeowners Association that offered well manicured lawns, lush landscaping and high-end homes. The agreement signed came with CCR'S (Covenants Conditions and Restrictions) requiring the purchaser to landscape the property. The new homeowner declined to landscape according to the Homeowner's Association. The Association had a duty to enforce the rules, so another legal battle ensued. 
4. The landlord and tenant fight over a security deposit over damages. Digging deeper, no one did a rental agreement or a walk thru prior to renting or moving out.

Alternative Dispute Resolution and Real Estate

When a dispute does occur in real estate, it is not the end of the world. In California, as within other jurisdictions, Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) is now playing a larger role to resolve these challenges as they arise.

Real Estate contracts written by the California Association of Realtors require that parties try mediation prior to a process of arbitration or litigation. Mediation can help parties with various types of real estate contracts, including buyers, sellers, landlords and tenants. In November, the California Association of Realtors formed a group of mediators specialized in real estate disputes to help resolve issues. The group, known as The Mediation Center, helps parties avoid unnecessarily long legal battles.

Mediation services offers many benefits. A conflict that might have lasted months or years can be resolved within a matter of hours. For example, a buyer and seller of the Bay Area had a conflict about tree roots going over each other's property. Four hours after the mediation commenced, the parties had a written settlement. Courts also support ADR via "small claims" or civil unlimited cases. One can gain information at the local Self Help Center or the Court clerk in each county in California. The Superior Court in Sonora of Tuolumne County also has a active mediation panel. Those members settle in excess of 80% of disputes. The disputants often leave the court happy, and rarely return.

Private mediation is another option for disputants.

Conclusion - Introduction to Real Estate Disputes

There is saying in the legal community; "Why litigate when you can mediate?" Be willing to resolve your dispute with mediation, which can often bring about a great many benefits, versus the the frustration and expense of litigation.

About the author - Real Estate Disputes

Jim W Hildreth, Mediator, focuses his practice on California Real Estate Disputes. He serves on multiple Superior Court rosters as a civil mediator and was appointed to the California Association of Realtors as a mediator. He serves the San Francisco Bay Area, Central Valley & Mother Lode. Contact Jim Hildreth and visit his site.

What is ADR?

What is ADR?

Alternative Dispute Resolution

Introduction to ADR

Popular television shows depict trials as the climatic event – an intellectual sparring of wit and strategy – and the whole dispute is over within an hour. In reality, legal disputes drag over months or years before a trial may take place. Preparation can be tedious and insipid, while 95% of lawsuits will settle and never even go to trial, which has led some lawyers to write about the phenomenon of the “Vanishing Trial”.[1]

Most lawsuits today are resolved through Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR). ADR refers to various processes to resolve disputes outside of the formal public courts system. The main forms of ADR are negotiation, mediation, and arbitration, although there are also hybrid processes such as the minitrial, med-arb, and early neutral evaluation.

A Spectrum of ADR Options

ADR options are organized along a spectrum, from negotiation, which is the least formal process, to arbitration, which is the most formal process and therefore, the most similar to a trial. The more informal the process, the more control the parties have. In more formal processes such as arbitration, the parties have less control because the outcome is determined by a third party. Mediation falls somewhere in between. These processes are by no means mutually exclusive, and parties may pursue these options in sequence, or even at the same time.

Negotiation is the most informal process and has the fewest rules and procedures. Parties may negotiate directly with each other, or through their lawyers. Mediation involves a neutral third-party who does not impose a solution but helps the parties reach a resolution by facilitating more structured negotiations. The parties retain control over the final agreement. Arbitration is the most formal process where a third party adjudicator has the power to impose a binding solution on the parties after hearing each party’s position.

Key Differences Between ADR and the Traditional Trial

Trials are open, so all members of the public, including journalists, are welcome to attend (with a few exceptions in special cases). Furthermore, trial decisions are published and establish a precedent for future cases. In contrast, ADR is private and the result remains confidential between the parties.

The courts system is a formal process with rules of civil procedure and statutory deadlines. ADR is crafted to suit the needs and demands of the parties, and may take many different forms.

Trials are adversarial, where each party advocates that the law favours its position, and the judge ultimately rules in favour of one party. Although in ADR each party is seeking to maximize personal gains, the parties accomplish this through cooperation and compromise, rather than a winner-takes-all situation. Especially in non-adjudicative options such as mediation, “a mediator can often persuade the parties to resolve their dispute without determining which of their positions is ‘right’”. [2] Because ADR is less adversarial, it is better suited when parties want to continue their relationship beyond the present dispute.

Advantages of ADR

Some of the advantages that make ADR appealing are:

1.     Cost

The cost of a trial has made it prohibitive. In 1995, it cost each party over $40,000 in legal fees to go to trial, and in 2011, this estimate was close to $60,000.[3] This astronomical cost is out of reach for many people and even corporations, and is often disproportionate to the amount in dispute. Moreover, since the losing party is often required to pay part of the winning party’s legal fees on top of its own, this penalty serves as a looming risk and a deterrent for parties to go to trial.

The cost of resolving a dispute informally through ADR is much lower, and parties have more control over the process and the resulting legal fees. For smaller disputes, parties may choose less costly mediators, but select specialized mediators at a higher price for more complex disputes. A dispute over a $100 million may be resolved in a single day, negating the need to spend months of expensive preparation for a trial.

2.     Speed and efficiency

A backlog in the court system has meant when litigants request a trial date, they have to wait one or two years from that point, and even longer in some jurisdictions. Even after trial, parties may wait weeks or months for a decision to be released.

In contrast, a mediation or arbitration can be scheduled within a few months, and can be resolved fairly quickly. While courts usually discourage forum-shopping, which is choosing one court over another, ADR allows the parties to choose a decision-maker who best fits their schedule and needs. In mediation, the mediator does not make a decision, rather helping the parties come to a solution collaboratively. ADR may also remove the need for pre-trial procedures such as examinations-for-discovery and motions, which may be time-consuming and cause further delays. Instead, if there is a dispute about evidence or submissions, the parties may informally negotiate a mutually acceptable solution.

3.     Customizing the process

ADR is flexible to become whatever the parties agree to make of it. Parties may set their own procedures and decide which law applies. Most courts have judges who are generalists and must decide on cases ranging from criminal convictions to complex shareholder disputes – although there a few exceptions for Family Law Court or the Commercial List in Toronto. But in ADR, parties may choose a decision-maker who is a recognized expert in the area of the dispute.

Parties are free to use whichever form of ADR best matches their priorities. Parties may choose to air their grievances, or to never speak to each other except through a neutral third-party. They can choose whether their priority is to reconcile the parties in conflict or simply to reach a binding decision for the dispute at hand. Moreover, the parties can tailor the resolution to their own needs. Unlike court decisions, which often grant judgment in the form of a monetary payment, in ADR the parties have a greater range of options. Sometimes an aggrieved party may be simply seeking an apology or an acknowledgement that his/her actions were right. In other cases, one party may want to maintain the relationship while having a discrete issue addressed, which is easier to accomplish in an informal ADR atmosphere than in an adversarial process that pitches one party against another.

4.     Privacy and maintaining relationships

Another advantage of using ADR is that the situation giving rise to the dispute, the conflict resolution process, and the outcome all remain private and confidential between the parties and any decision maker. Typically, the decision-maker will require all participants to sign a confidentiality agreement. Privacy may be an important factor when there are claims that could significantly harm one party’s image and reputation, e.g. allegations of fraud, sexual harassment. With a private ADR resolution, the parties avoid being publicly convicted and may even agree to a no-fault settlement.

The ability to privately and quietly resolve a conflict allows parties to maintain their relationship if that is one of their goals.

When a Trial May be Preferable to ADR

ADR is not suitable for every legal dispute. Disputes involving the interpretation of a new statute or provision, the application of the Charter and Constitutional rights, and other public interest litigation require a public ruling to establish a precedent. Class actions may require litigation in order to ensure that all plaintiffs receive an equivalent remedy, rather than separate and inconsistent results. A trial is also preferable in situations where the defendant is being sanctioned, its conduct is condemned, and deterrence is a goal.[4] 

About the Author - What is ADR

Rhema - Legal Dispute Blogger

Rhema Kang is a litigation lawyer. She graduated with an Honours Bachelor of Arts from the University of Toronto in International Relations, and Juris Doctor from the University of Ottawa. She first became excited about mediation while working for the Honourable George W. Adams, a prominent Canadian mediator who handles legal disputes worth up to several hundred million dollars. Rhema was the researcher behind the book, Mediating Justice: Legal Dispute Negotiations, and won second prize in the FMC Negotiation Competition. Rhema enjoys dark chocolate with sea salt and finds it awkward to write about herself in the third person.

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[1] Robert M Ackerman, “Vanishing Trial, Vanishing Community? The Potential Effect of the Vanishing Trial on America’s Social Capital” (2006) J Disp Resol165.

[2] Frank E.A. Sander and Stephen B. Goldberg, “Fitting the Forum to the Fuss: A User-Friendly Guide to Selecting an ADR Procedure” Negotiation Journal (1994) 49 at 56.

[3] George W. Adams, Mediating Justice: Legal Dispute Negotiations, 2d ed (Toronto: CCH Canadian Limited, 2011).

[4] Sander and Goldberg at 60.


 

Contract Negotiation Tips

Tips to Keep in Mind when Negotiating a Contract

Contracts are one of the most elementary components of our legal system.  They can be long, short, written, verbal, and contain a single sentence or a novel-worthy page count.  In essence, they are any type of agreement that describes a “this-for-that” exchange of rights, obligations, money or services.  Many contracts, like simple purchases or contracts for quick services or utilities, are non-negotiable.  However, even in those situations, there may be more room for negotiation than you think.  If you find yourself in the position of being able to discuss what your contract might entail, here are some basic tips to keep in mind when preparing for a negotiation.

Contract Negotiation Prep Work

You need to know what rights and obligations you’re actually talking about in order to have a hope of successful negotiation.  This stage is crucial.  Contractual terms and desired outcomes can change during the course of negotiation, but it will almost always be easier if you have the fundamentals laid out.  Ask yourself questions like the following:

What is the current state of affairs, and how will it change? 

This is a very important step, and, depending on the nature of the contract at hand, it can be easy to get ahead of yourself.  A careful period of self-reflection can be useful before proceeding.  Think about whether you have an ongoing relationship with the other party already, and whether you stand to gain or lose anything from negotiations or from entering a contract. Think about the other party’s relationship with other persons (both before and after you come to an agreement), and think about how entering into the contract will affect your own relationship with the other party (and third parties!). 

What must I receive from the other party? 

This is the bare minimum that you need to get out of forming the contract. Is it clear and obvious to both parties that this is what you need?

What is the most I am willing to give/pay/agree to perform?

This is something you can keep to yourself, but it’s still a good self-reflective tool to prepare yourself.  Think about your budget, time constraints, or the amount of time you may be willing to perform an obligation.

What specific objects/rights/obligations do I truly intend to form the basis of the contract?

Try not to assume things will just work themselves out. Be clear about your position, ask questions from the other side, and know what the scope of the rights and obligations might be.

Is my (or the other party’s) intended result even possible?

Sometimes, negotiations can carry on for some time before one side realizes a key piece of information that makes them realize that the intended effect just won’t work.  Clearly, in the interests of time, money, and efficiency, it pays to think about this question in advance. 

“What-if...?” Questions:

Hypothesize! For the sake of argument and analysis, ask yourself some “what-if” questions and see how the proposed contract follows through with the hypothetical.  Try to imagine what might happen if something fundamentally changes.  If it’s a lease, what if you want to move?  If it’s a job contract, what if you get sick?  This type of thinking leaves you better prepared to use hypothetical arguments as leverage, and can help you prepare answers for when the other party insists or asks for something.

At the Bargaining Table...

Once you have a handle on the issues from the first step, you may want to consider the following principles:

Don’t Overcomplicate

This can be particularly insidious with boilerplate contracts.  If the other party asks you to agree to something that doesn’t seem to apply to you, ask about it. If a term, clause or section serves only to confuse, consider removing it.  

Don’t Oversimplify

The counterpoint to the above is to make sure that your (and the other party’s) concerns are addressed adequately.  This is especially important as it relates to the hypotheticals that you have considered. 

Know the Definitions 

Many contract documents begin with an “interpretation” or “definitions” section.  It is typically crucial to understand what exactly various words in the document actually mean.  One of the implications of these sections is that you should probably not assume that a term that appears in the contract has the same meaning it might have outside the contract! 

Consider the Context

The context of your negotiations can be critical in ensuring that you obtain your desired outcome, or in protecting yourself from giving up too much for the sake of coming to an agreement.  Some of your “context” will undoubtedly come from your prep work (e.g. - knowing what a reasonable salary to expect might be, or what sort of common area expenses might be included in your lease).  Some of it may come from circumstance, such as a deadline or relationship with a third party.  Having a good grasp of the bigger picture will help a lot with timing your requests, demands, or refusals in negotiation.

Know When to Pause

Putting negotiations on hold can be a difficult judgment call, especially in time-sensitive scenarios.  But there are ample reasons when it may simply be better to wait.  More research may be required, the consent of a third party or client may be worth looking into.

Clarity is Key

Make sure the words on the page can only be read in the way the parties intend it to read! Ask yourself if there is a different possible interpretation. Consider making new defined terms rather than using a stock or official-sounding word.  Confirm with the other party that they get the same result when they try to interpret the meaning of specific terms.

Ask!

Communication is crucial in any negotiation setting.  Especially if one side has less bargaining power than the other, it is almost always helpful to ask questions, if only to confirm that what you think the contract means is correct.  If something seems to be missing, be explicit and ask for it! If it looks like the contract requires more of you than you were expecting, bring this up, too.  This is especially important when there is vagueness or ambiguity of terms.

Conclusions of Contract Negotiation

Contract negotiation can occur in a huge variety of settings, and knowing how to discuss and confirm terms is a worthwhile skill to be developed.  Remember that even if the other party suggests there is "no room" for negotiation, you still do not have to sign, and you can still ask questions. After you have read through these tips, then read about Negotiation Strategies and Tactics to better prepare.

These tips are intended to give some general tips for negotiation situations. If you feel overwhelmed, lost, or just in need of a bit of guidance for a specific situation, a great start is to seek out a lawyer, mediator or other counsellor who can give you professional help.  

About the Author - Contract Negotiation Tips

Dan - Mediate2go Editor and Blogger

Dan Lawlor is a Mediate to Go Blogger focused on estates and commercial dispute resolution. Dan is a graduate of McGill University's Faculty of Law with interests in conflict resolution, business law and writing. He played an important role as a director with Mediation at McGill, building connections with the community to improve outreach. Currently he is a student-at-law with Campbell Mihailovich Uggenti LLP in Hamilton, Ontario. Dan loves team sports, reading, and traveling.
 

Setting Boundaries to Resolve Conflict

Setting Boundaries to Resolve Conflict

Don't know where the future's headed

But nothing's gonna bring me down

Adam Lambert – No Boundaries

Introduction -  Setting boundaries to Resolve Conflict

Feeling Uncomfortable? Set a Boundary

Not too long ago, we wrote a blog about boundaries called Feeling Uncomfortable? Set a Boundary! This laid the foundation for better understanding how we manage the space between others and ourselves. We also introduced theory to explain tensions between being close and distant with others – tensions that are constantly in balance in all of our relationships. 

But what next? How to fix a relationship in relation to a boundary? How does one take this information and apply it within daily life?  How does one deal with or manage a conflict where a boundary is involved? Does every conflict involve some sort of boundary issue?

To start, we recommend being a self leader and taking responsibility in conflict situations. We wrote a blog about self leadership and conflict resolution, which discusses a model to help you feel powerful in relationships.

Common types of boundary violations

Someone around me is angry

It’s hard to not get caught up in someone else’s anger. Anger can come across as very aggressive, and can distract us from what we are doing or thinking. If the anger is from someone in public, and it is not directed towards you, escape from the situation. Remind yourself  there is nothing you can do, and get out of there. Now, if the anger is based on something that you might be  responsible for, you need to take a different approach. Look at our blog on dealing with anger and how to manage anger to learn more about this.

Someone around me is stressed

This is also a difficult emotion to deal with. Not only is it an emotion, it becomes a physiological response, which makes it even more challenging to manage. Someone else’s stress might easily become yours' within minutes or seconds if you do not stay focused  and reinforce your interpersonal boundaries with the person. If you want to improve your boundaries around someone who is stressed, feel free to tell the person that you are starting to feel stressed as a result of their stress. You can say something like,”I feel anxious that you were talking about that. I think everything will be fine.” Or, if you want to help that person deal with their stress, feel free to do so, but make sure that the person gets the help that they need. Also, it is important for you to have your own stress reduction strategy, whatever that looks like to you. Do you go to the gym regularly? Do you do yoga? How do you feel relaxed and what can you do you want a regular basis to reduce your level of stress overall?

Someone around me is offensive

If someone around you said something that you feel uncomfortable about, you can manage your response in several different ways based on your goals and the impact you’re looking to have in the situation. Is there way for you to can state your needs through having a constructive confrontation? This is often the best way of getting your message across, while making sure that you are not offending someone and escalating the conflict unnecessarily. Otherwise, it might even be appropriate to react based on your first instinct or feeling. If you do not think that you will be put in a dangerous situation as a result of your response, and your reputation will not be hurt, feel free to go with it.

Someone around me is jealous

Jealousy is pretty complicated and may require that someone in the situation must work on their confidence. Although you might want to set an obvious boundary with the other person, is important to try to be empathetic to their situation. This is not to say that you should do something that you are not comfortable with or take it lightly if someone wants to take revenge. However, your empathy can go a long way to help resolve a potential conflict. Remember, you are not responsible for their feelings. However, one of the best ways of getting out of the situation is by doing precisely that, get out of it.

Someone around me is in a conflict

Have you ever been around someone that is in conflict with someone else, and you inadvertently started to take on their view or feel the same way toward the other person? This is often part of a conflict escalation cycle, when people start to form groups as result of a conflict that becomes increasingly confusing and messy. It is hard to stay neutral in a conflict. One of the best ways to manage this boundary is by using conflict resolution skills. Even better, take leadership in the situation and help the person see things in a new way. Ask yourself if it is worth getting involved and hurting your own relationship with that other person for something that may or may not have happened. It takes two to tango, so if there is a conflict, both parties have probably contributed in some way. At the same time, gossip can be a good thing in particular situations. Think about these ideas and make the right decision for you.