Sunday, August 5, 2018

Benefits of Family Mediation Services


Mediate to Go: Benefits of family mediation services


Benefits of family mediation services

It is well established that family mediation services provide a more flexible, affordable and satisfying process for couples ending their relationship than an adversarial court battle (see amicable divorce). There are also various benefits for children when using family mediation, such as helping them cope. If you have decided to end your relationship with divorce or separation, then mediation is a great process to consider. If you still haven't decided whether you want to choose divorce or to stay together, read the blog about choosing divorce or family therapy.

Flexibility - family mediation services

Shared problem solving in mediation

Mediation is a flexible process “not limited by legal categories or rules, it can help reframe a contentious dispute as a mutual problem.”[1] Mediation, in its most basic form, helps to facilitate communication between parties to change competitive bargaining into problem solving focused negotiation that helps meet the needs of both parties involved.[2] See our blogs on negotiation and mediation vs arbitration to learn more.

Flexible agenda of mediation

The process is also flexible in terms of how the discussions take place, whereby parties have input in the agenda and how the process moves forward. For couples facing separation or divorce, a mediation process can offer a much more flexible way of dealing with the difficulties of ending a relationship. Instead of being stuck with rigid deadlines, a mediator can help you come up with solutions based on your's and their schedule.

Flexible timing of mediation

Divorce is considered a time of crisis for the family unit, so anything that can adapt to the family's time constraints is a good thing. Instead of having to wait for months or possibly years to have a case resolved in court, family mediation can take a matter of hours or days. 

Flexible style of mediation

In addition, family mediators have different styles that may better meet the needs of your particular family. For example, a family mediator might be trained in working with particular cultural or religious group or may speak your mother tongue. Such a mediator could provide a process that is more comfortable and appropriate for the parties based on their broader needs and diversity.

Flexible outcomes in mediation

Family mediation is also flexible in the outcome of the process. Of course, family mediation works within the framework of a country's constitution, laws and regulations. This means that a family mediation agreement must respect the laws of the country in order to protect vulnerable parties, etc. (note: be sure to request independent legal advice from a lawyer in your area/country, even if you chose to use mediation). Family mediation is unique in that the parties have more leeway to design their own outcomes of separation and divorce, but a lawyer will be better placed to help ensure that the agreement meets legal requirements. Instead of relying on the courts to decide your custody arrangements, family mediation allows for a couple to collaboratively decide how they will share custody. 

Affordability - family mediation services

Affordable for parties and the justice system

Mediation is also more affordable for parties and the administration of justice. Parties attending family mediation were increasingly more likely to settle their dispute, compared to those litigating.[3] This is a common benefit to mediation as a process of ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution).

This means that parties participating in family mediation and achieving resolution were no longer burdening the court system with their case. Some governments offer subsidized family mediation to help dissuade parties from a more adversarial approach, emphasizing, for example, the interests of all family members and the reduction of legal costs.[4] Even if parties take advantage of subsidies that provide for a mediator, such as in Quebec, this process might take approximately 6 hours or less, with a court process taking months or possibly years.[5] 

Affordability increases Access to Justice

Mediation has been argued to increase access to justice for parties who cannot afford legal counsel.[6] While mediation is not a replacement of the court process, nor the assistance of a lawyer, the process may allow for the facilitation of parties needs, and reduced need for a lawyer for the entirety of the process. Sometimes, parties use the services of a mediator, and then seek independent legal advice once they have a draft settlement agreement, thus, paying for fewer hours of legal services.

Satisfying - family mediation services

Emotionally and financially satisfying 

Mediation is more satisfying for parties than litigating. Couples dealing with divorce can come to mutually agreeable solutions in relation to all aspects of the divorce; including access and custody arrangements, division of property and assets and more. Part of this more satisfying process means that parties are able to avoid some of the emotional and financial costs of traditional legal processes – fighting in court.[7] See our blog called Don't let fights go bad and building an emotional air conditioner.

Satisfying to parties' needs and interests

In addition, parties’ needs and interests are more likely to be met. In terms of results, mediating custody disputes produces better outcomes for families than adversarial legal battles.[8] In these ways, mediation is a more satisfying process. See our blog on family fights and how to fight fair.

Better for children - family mediation services

A great deal of research discusses the benefits of family mediation for children. Conflict is negative for children, so anything that can reduce the animosity between parents is beneficial for kids. A court process only exacerbates aggressive conflict tactics (see our blog on conflict styles). In addition, through offering creative and flexible solutions for families, family mediation can help parties avoid negative and destructive conflict in the future, by helping them develop effective agreements and teaching skills in conflict resolution

Also, read our blog on How to find a good mediator.




[1] Robert A Baruch Bush and Joseph P Folger, The Promise of Mediation: The Transformative Approach to Conflict (San Francisco, California, Jossey Bass, 2005) at 71.

[2] Bush and Folger, supra note 1 at 72.

[3] Joan B Kelly and Robert E Emery, “Children’s Adjustment Following Divorce: Risk and Resilience Perspectives” (2003) 52 Family Relations at 376 citing Emery R (1994) Renegotiating family relationships: divorce, child custody, and mediation (New York: The Guilford Press, 1994).

[4] Justice Quebec. Family mediation - Negotiating a fair agreement, online: <http://www.justice.gouv.qc.ca/english/programmes/mediation/accueil-a.htm>.

[5] Id.

[6] Jessica Pearson (1994) Family mediation. In S Keilitz (ed), A report on current research findings - implications for courts and future research needs (pp 53-75). Washington, DC: State Justice Institute.

[7] Bush and Folger, supra note 1 at 72.


[8] Id.

Monday, July 9, 2018

Top 10 Songs about Conflict - 2015

Top 10 Songs about Conflict - 2015

This blog is part of our series of top conflict songs. See the Top 10 Conflict Songs of 2014.

1. Hello - Adele

A song about reconciliation and when fights go bad.

A past conflict has resulted in a separation, but during this song she is trying to resolve this conflict. The fact that she has taken the first step in reconciling the relationship is admirable, however there are ulterior motives behind this reconnection, which could create extra conflict and avoidance down the line. When rebuilding a relationship, honesty is always the best policy. You can’t build an honest relationship out of lies (also see tips on coping with divorce).



2. Elastic Heart - Sia

A song about destructive relationships and moving on.

This song deals with a relationship that did not work, even though they may have tried mediation and other means to repair the relationship. However, no methods worked, and she feels destroyed by the experience. The truth is, you can try to repair a relationship or situation all you want, even partake in mediation, but sometimes it simply does not work. However, it is a method that often has positive results (benefits of mediation), so it is still worth partaking in the practice.


3. Dear Future Husband - Meghan Trainor

This song is about being open to resolve conflict. 

In order to avoid any sort of conflict in her relationships resulting in separation or avoidance, she has created a set of conditions and rules, which she lays out in the song to any future lover. In theory, this may seem like an intelligent idea, however strict rules often lead to rebellion. Open discussion is always a wise option in terms of mediation, given that intense rules could lead to restricting yourself from opportunities (also see conflict resolution styles).



4. Love Yourself (Justin Bieber)

This song is about dealing with rejection and moving on.

This song involves a self-obsessed ex-partner that’s causing conflict simply for the attention of the singer. He is trying to avoid any sort of confrontation with this person, however in this song, he addresses it by completely dismissing and distancing himself from said conflict. This song reflects a realistic and aggregable option towards conflict, do not involve yourself.


5. Bloodstream - Ed Sheeran

This song is about internal conflict and empathy.

This song involves a man who has created conflict, resulting in people’s active avoidance. He has done this because of conflicts within himself, and this song is his realization of his mistake, too late for reconciliation. In cases such as these, you would need to keep in mind its never too late to attempt reconciliation, through mediation. If you were one of those whom avoided, it’s about being empathetic and compromising while your friend is going through a tough phase.


6. Suffer In Peace - Tyler Farr

This song is about avoidance.

This is about a man who has compromised to make somebody else happy, but he has simultaneously compromised himself by doing this. Avoidance is a dream for him, he is unhappy and looking back, wishes that he had done something different.  In this case, mediation or taking a step back could be a more realistic option. The point of compromise is to reach a midpoint that makes both parties happy, otherwise what is the point. Collaboration might be even better, where both parties are said to find a win-win solution.


7. Don’t Wanna Fight (Alabama Shakes)

This song is about finding resolution, taking into account all of your needs and interests.

The inspiration behind this song was about the bands earlier struggles, finding a balance between their full-time jobs and their band practices. This is a very real issue in the workplace, finding a balance between hobbies, having a good time and work. If there are issues, you shouldn’t be put out by approaching your employer/manager to discuss your feeling and options (also known as a form of negotiation). You also need to compromise within yourself, enjoying yourself but at the same time being realistic financially.


8. Ghost Town - Adam Lambert

This song is about change and trust.

This song is about the changes happening within society and especially Hollywood. He is trying to fight against the change but feels alone in the struggle. This conflict is not between two people, but between a person and society. Society will change inevitably. The options are either to avoid the situation altogether, remain conflicted or accept the change. Sometimes, trusting that the situation will change is the most difficult. Each of these options have their own advantages and disadvantages. Learn more about conflict escalation and resolution.


9. Secret Love Song (Little Mix)

This song is about honesty and compromise.

The song is about a relationship that is being kept a secret, due to it being looked down upon by society. This song has strong LGBTQIA links, as mentioned by Little Mix themselves. This song is a duet also starring Jason Derulo (in some versions), and as the song gets to the bridge, they are having an argument about whether to be honest or keep the relationship a secret (see our blog, Should I stay or should I go?). In a situation such as this, a compromise seems to have already been reached, with one of the parties unhappy with the arrangement. This song seems to be a crossroads between being open, and the situation turning to one of avoidance instead of romance. Also see our blog on cheating in relationships - advice on adultery, which also deals with secrets.


10. B**** Better Have My Money - Rhianna

This song is about confidence in conflict.

This may seem like an odd choice for some, but this song is the perfect example of somebody who does not compromise, apologize or avoid conflict. This woman believes she is correct and strong and refuses to be told different. This type of personality is not ideal for mediators; however, we have to deal with all personalities and you will run into people of this temperament. The trick is to make the outspoken party feel in control.





Ashton Bult, Mediate to Go Blogger

Ashton Bult is our media blogger, focusing on mediation and conflict resolution and its effects on modern pop culture and vice versa. Leaning towards youth engagement with mediation, he has studied a wide variety of courses at the Auckland University of Technology and the International Travel College. When he isn't on his computer, he'll be performing on stage. 

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Celebrities and Mediation – What Is The Link?

Ola! Hope you guys are still having a read of my blogs, and perhaps this one caught your attention. Throughout history, there have been disagreements, conflicts and a need for mediation. As history goes on, it has simply been thrust into greater prominence. Singers, actors and public figures are constantly thrust into the limelight and scrutinised.

Whether you are talking about legendary feuds, such as that between Betty Davis and Joan Crawford, or feuds in more modern pop culture, such as the conflicts between Taylor Swift and Katy Perry, there seems to be much need for mediation in Hollywood.

The question I pose to you is this; are celebrities and their disagreements really as epic as the media makes them out to be? Are they heavily exaggerated, and modern media simply does it for the money? Or perhaps it is a mix between the two, with both parties at fault (see conflict escalation)?

Below I will write about a few celebrities I believe have caused a lot of conflict, either between each other, the media or even everyday viewers and consumers (see levels of conflict). I will give you a brief overview of the ‘issue’ and some insight on both possible successful conflict resolution techniques for their situations, as well as bringing back to the question raised above. I ask you to read this with an open mind.

Betty Davis + Joan Crawford


For all you classic Hollywood lovers, this particular feud is notorious. In fact, Ryan Murphy has recently released a season of his new anthology series ‘Feud’, which focuses on this particular feud. This feud was between two actresses, and apparently lasted both of their lifetimes.

Although it is an extremely long story, it started when Betty Davis was only beginning to come into prominence. One of her new movies was near to release, but was overshadowed by Joan Crawford’s recent divorce. As time went on, this intensified, especially as Betty Davis began to become more successful than Crawford. This feud came to a head in the movie ‘Whatever Happened To Baby Jane’, where they hurt each other in a show of destructive conflict, perhaps on purpose and argued constantly.

I believe mediation could have definitely been a successful technique in this situation. Judging on what we know via the media, it seems as if this feud came from jealousy of one another and their talent. However, the truth was that they were both quite talented. I believe a discussion about their issues face-to-face; perhaps with a third party involved would have been a good start. In terms of the issues on set, I believe compromise could have been the best option. Offering an increase in pay for a better attitude as an incentive, or a decrease for hindering the process would have done the trick, or at the least influenced the parties in their decision to try to resolve the conflict.

Do I think this feud was exaggerated and blown out of proportion? I believe so. I don’t believe they got along, but most articles that I have researched regarding this feud are filled with ‘they could’ or ‘it is assumed’. A lot of the feud was also based on third hand accounts, which could have been exaggerated or taken out of context. It could have also been a more fun rivalry between the two, or genuine conflict escalation.



Britney Spears and Conflict



Although Britney Spears could cover many different types of conflict (she could be the topic of an article within itself!), I am going to focus on her conflicts with the media itself, and the media industry she works in.

Although she was a member of the Mickey Mouse club, she truly came into prominence in 1998, with her first hit single “…Baby One More Time”. Throughout her career, she has been known for her up-tempo numbers, and her dancing skills. However, she has always been heavily scrutinized by the media, whether regarding her relationships, sometimes provocative manner and singing ability.

This conflict with the media came to a head in 2007, when she has a mental breakdown, resulting in her losing custody of her children, shaving her head and being caught fleeing the scene of a hit-and-run. As a result, the media came down even harder on her, to the point where she attacked them physically, most notably with an umbrella (video below).


Britney’s Conflict with the Paparazzi

Britney Spears had a rocky relationship with the paparazzi, and when it reaches a head in which physical conflict seems like the only answer, there is most defiantly a problem. Although many celebrities may not admit it, the paparazzi are vital to them in order to keep them relevant and interesting, considering the amount of famous singers, actors and public figures nowadays. At the same time, paparazzi need celebrities for their pay check, as well as to keep themselves relevant, edgy and interesting within their industry. An almost co-dependent relationship (see also unhealthy relationships).

Although it is never right for a conflict to become physical in any circumstance, we can empathize with Britney’s feelings (not actions) in the situation. I could tell you about conflict resolution and mediation techniques in this situation that are certainly relevant if this situation were on a smaller scale. An apology on both sides and discussions with a neutral third party regarding how they could have a comfortable working relationship would be very useful in this situation. And perhaps if, in your workplace or life, there is a similar problem on a smaller scale, this would be a great option. However, for THIS situation, it is not realistic. There is no one person that represents all the media in the world, so conflict resoution becomes more practicable.

And so we return to my starting question, whether this rocky relationship is as serious as it is made out to be, or if it is exaggerated. In this situation, I believe it was serious. Britney Spears was going through a mental breakdown at the time, and she felt that physical conflict would be a successful technique to create space between the paparazzi and her. This is not a smart or responsible technique, but she was on the edge and perhaps not in the right frame of mind. Besides, there was photo evidence!!!

Tom Cruise; when Conflict Resolution can’t work.



I know. The majority of people hear this name and smack their heads against the wall. This particular conflict is based around a variety of conflicts, both within the media and the public.

The story is simple. In a nutshell, Tom Cruise identifies as a Scientologist. I personally do not judge people based on their religions, I believe you can be whoever you want to be. However, his religion caused backlash in the public eye, as well as within the press. At the same time, this brought Scientology into the limelight, causing an increase in conversions.

To be honest, religion is close to people and may seem part of people’s identities. When mediating a situation involving religion, you might always be walking on eggshells, hense, the need to understand people’s human needs an ensure that the mediation environment is respectful. Cruise’s situation is another case whereby mediation techniques aren’t realistic. For example, perhaps the conflict could have been averted if people observed privacy around religious issues; however that defeats the purpose of paparazzi. I guess the advice to give for a workplace conflict involving religion is simply setting down rules with both parties that your personal life shouldn’t affect professionalism within the workplace. At the same time, encouraging respect and understanding between everyone in the process so that they are valued for their diversity.

Was this issue over-exaggerated, resulting in an overreaction from the public? I personally believe the answer is no. The reason for this opinion is because Tom Cruise was merely a catalyst that thrust Scientology into the limelight, a controversial religion to say the least! He was criticized mainly because of his high profile status, and the negative effects his association could have in terms of sign-ups.

Judy Garland and Intra-personal Conflict




The story of Judy Garland is a sad one, and the conflict I am focusing on in this section is the conflict within her, and how that was perceived within the media.

I don’t know why the stories about old Hollywood stars seem to be lengthier, but Judy Garland is another lady with a long history, so I will briefly skim the details. Miss Garland has a tough childhood, and from a young age she was thrust into the limelight. She was very successful, however over time she began to deteriorate, resulting in issues such as not turning up to set. Eventually, stress and depression led to her early death.

In terms of conflict resolution, multiple attempts were made to help her. She saw a therapist often, sometimes twice a day, and she had taken multiple trips to rehabilitation centres to attempt to wean her off her vices. I believe compromises were made, however she could not comply. The only option that did not take place was a leave of absence from acting or a more permanent stay in a rehabilitation centre, which I believe was most likely the family’s next move. Conflict resolution is only possible when parties are healthy in a wholeistic sense. Taking leave is common to return to health, which may in turn, help in resolving issues internally and with others.

I believe that the media was putting her in the wrong light. They were portraying her as a diva, rather than a celebrity with some serious problems. This led to misconceptions by the public of her being spoilt. This was not so much an exaggeration as an assumption without reliable sources or backup for their claims. In the end, it seems that her deeper needs were not being recognized by the media, whether their recognition would help, that is another story.

Miley Cyrus and Conflict Resolution



I thought to end on a bit on a more positive note; I would finish on Miley Cyrus, a young lady who is always the victim of controversy, with the main source of conflict being with the public. I will discuss her behaviour and some tips to address inappropriate actions, but in a workplace context.

As the daughter of a famous singer (Billy-Ray Cyrus), Miley was exposed to the public from a young age. As a teen, she was recruited for Disney Channel’s ‘Hannah Montana’. Through this role, she became a role model for many. Once she was released from her contract, she changed her look and attitude significantly. Whether she was smoking weed, swinging naked on a wrecking ball or twerking on Robin Thicke, she was stirring strong emotions (like AND dislike) throughout pop culture (watch video below).

Although I personally believe she was not at all in the wrong, I will go through some possible mediation techniques you could use within your workplace to address this behaviour, as it would be inappropriate in that setting. As an employer, you would have to be firm. Set down ground rules (or boundaries) as soon as you set up your business (or once you read this), so if this happens, you can refer back to these rules. Compromise in this situation would give those in a lesser position power over you, and although every member of a team relies on each other, the chain of command should always be maintained. This discussion should be calm, and I believe it would be appropriate to have a third, neutral party. Also see our blogs on how to fix conflict (or a relationship).

I believe this situation was blown out of proportion by both the media and consumers. Parents for example, complained about their children being tainted by her actions, and that her concerts were inappropriate. However, this information is readily available through magazines and the internet, so if they were worried about it being inappropriate, perhaps they should not have brought their children tickets in the first place. Miley Cyrus was trying out a new look and personality, as most teens her age do, and yet she was held to a different standard than others.


Thank you for reading. If you have any comments, opinions or advice, I would love to hear from you in the comments below!


Ashton Bult, Mediate to Go Blogger

Ashton Bult is our media blogger, focusing on mediation and conflict resolution and its effects on modern pop culture and vice versa. Leaning towards youth engagement with mediation, he has studied a wide variety of courses at the Auckland University of Technology and the International Travel College. When he isn't on his computer, he'll be performing on stage. 

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Christmas Cheer or Mediation Madness: Your Survival Guide to December




Christmas is just around the corner, and guess what, most of us survived (ish). I would like to start off by saying congratulations on that, an achievement in itself!

However many people may claim that Christmas is always “full of cheer”, so to speak, in my opinion they are extremely confused about the true meaning of Christmas. Workplace mediation is in my opinion, more important in December than in any other month of the year, for a variety of reasons. Even if people don’t celebrate Christmas, December  is the time of many celebrations, which may be joyous, and unfortunately at times, conflictual.

My first reason is simple; December is one of the most stressful times of year. Whether you have a family of your own, a partner or simply love to pull out the stops for Christmas, you have a huge amount of work to do. And that’s not even counting your ACTUAL workplace. The fact that the business shuts down, even if just for a few days, can be a blessed holiday for some, but a nightmare for others. Work deadlines, meetings and other events are tighter, which can create even more stress and conflict within the workplace.

Below I have put some stressful December situations that could create conflict within the workplace, and how to de-escalate these situations, through the use of conflict resolution (self-resolution, conflict coaching and mediation).

The Horrors of Secret Santa

Secret Santa is an inspired idea. People buying gifts for one another, making everybody feel like part of the team. It also gets people into the Christmas spirit. However, you will also receive these sorts of issues:

“I don’t like my person, I want another!” “I have no idea who my person is because I don’t care about my co-workers…..so yeah….” “Secret Santa is stupid, and I don’t want to do it!” “I don’t have the time.”

I’m sure you get the point. You are always going to get these situations with something like ‘Secret Santa’, and this can cause tension within the office. In some cases, this can escalate to arguments and very uncomfortable situations that we would all rather avoid.

You are never going to make everybody happy in any situation, and the best thing you can do in this situation is compromise, a textbook conflict management style. My first piece of advice would be to set a budget for the gifts, so that people aren’t spending ridiculous amounts of money on their gifts. Something else that could help is on the paper you hand out, alongside the name; write down their department, or even a picture of the person. These sorts of things can help a lot more than you might expect. Lastly, set parameters on the types of gifts so that people do not give or receive gifts inappropriate in the workplace. See also our blog on conflict resolution for managers.

As for those who have complaints about Secret Santa or the process, simply explain things from your perspective, the reasons you wanted to do it, and what you hope to get from the process. If you have an answer ready, in all honesty they can still decline without looking like a Scrooge. Ask for how they want to be involved in order to get their support and buy-in, or to simply include them in a way that makes them more comfortable.

Leave/Holidays and Conflict

This one is a toughie. Whether it’s about completing those horrific holiday deadlines or every employee attempting to get work leave around December/January, there’s going to be conflict, whether you want it or not. Everybody wants family time, everybody wants to go on a trip, and you can’t just shut down the office to make allowances, sorry to say.

This one comes down to tough love, good communication and planning ahead. If you don’t tell them, you should. It could be a case of first in first served, and if you have already used up all your leave, pushing your luck will not work during the Christmas period. Although compromise and meeting in the middle is usually the best option, in these situations you need to set down the rules firmly, so any issues or complaints are not on your head, but theirs for not keeping in mind those boundaries you set down.

The Dreaded Staff Party

This particular horror causes conflict mostly between those in higher-tier positions. This is because it is due to the more technical aspects associated with a staff party. Variables such as budget, alcohol, venues and events can cause high stress levels, and disagreements. There is also a constant worry that the co-workers might be unhappy with the event, and this can cause long-term resentment of their job positions. I will deal with these issues one at a time. 

VENUE to avoid conflict during workplace parties

It is a tough call. Should it be done off-site, or should we book out a venue? Booking a venue is often the biggest source of conflict in terms of the staff party, as it would be the biggest blow to the budget. First of all, you should sit down with the accountant and discuss the budget you have. It isn’t about the venue, it’s about what you do with it. Decorations and food can go a long way. Every business is different, but if you ask those obvious questions, there will be no need for conflict in the first place. The party is one way to show appreciation and recognition for hard work, so a better venue shows employees that you care and value their contribution.

ALCOHOL and avoiding conflict during workplace parties

Alcohol nearly always leads to conflict. Whether it is someone acting like a fool, a thoughtless comment or office gossip, something always happens. I work in events, and my staff party secret is serving wine and beer ONLY, and keep an eye on both the employees, managers and the rate of consumption. This will save you both money out of your budget, and possible conflict management needed further down the track. Make sure that someone in HR or a manager is there to offer sober support should anything escalate or get out of hand. Also be considerate that some people might be uncomfortable with the consumption of alcohol for religious reasons, so be sure to help them feel included. 

EVENTS and avoiding conflict during workplace parties 

Events have winners and losers. Some people are graceful, some people are not. It does not mean that you are a bad person; personally I believe that being ambitious and having a competitive personality can be a real asset within the workplace. However, this can often lead to unintentionally hurting people, and thus begins a deadly cycle that leads to a conflicted workplace. Firstly, the party itself is a big event, so to be honest, you do not need to go overboard in terms of events.

Staff parties are a great idea and bring people together, but keep in mind preparation is everything, and have some alternate options in place, because you can never be too careful when it comes to conflict resolution and workplace mediation.

The Christmas Blues, dealing with family and personal conflict during the holidays

Although by reading this blog you may think I am the Grinch in disguise, I truly am a big fan of Christmas. Whether it is the decorations, the carolling or the presents, I have a good time. However, what people often fail to remember is that not everybody is a fan of Christmas. This could be due to a lot of things, whether it is religious, family and personal conflict, well being, situational or they are simply not a fan of the holidays.

This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation from their co-workers and peers, or vice versa. Although this conflict might not be shown in open and explicit conflict, it is still very important to consider, if not more so.

Don’t block them out and exclude anyone. This can cause deep conflict between both parties or even within the so-called “Scrooge” themselves. There could be bad memories associated with Christmas. They might be all alone this year. They simply might not celebrate the holiday. This doesn’t mean they are bad people, or that you should exclude them from everything in December.

Think of how you would want to be treated if you were in their shoes. Include them, but keep in mind their boundaries. You should always respect your fellow co-workers, and just because it’s December, does not mean that should change.

Anyway, if you have actually read through all of this, congratulations!!! I hope I have given you some useful tips for dealing with Christmas conflict. Leave some comments below (I’d love to hear what you think), and of course, have a very, VERY merry Christmas!!!

Ashton, Mediate2go Communications Blogger

Ashton Bult is a graduate of tourism studies, with a strong interest in media outreach. He spends his free time winning water polo games and reading several books a week. Ashton also acts, dances and choreographs in a Drama club in Auckland. He is currently working on a cruise ship.




Conflict Resolution Family - 5 Tips

Conflict Resolution Family - 5 Tips Conflict Resolution Family - 5 Tips to Supportive Communication Introduction to Resolvin...